Reply #127: It never gets any easier

[vietnam_war_vet]

Kentuck: My deepest condolences for your loss.

We had to euthanize our oldest English Mastiff, Yogi, early in the morning of March 15th. He was 9 years, 4 plus months old. That's not too shabby for a giant breed.

Starting late the evening before (March 14th), his health suddenly deteriorated. He had been doing quite well. His weight was down to 205 (from 252 late last summer) due to our Vet's special high fiber diet.

I habitually call my wife, Kat, before I leave the pool where I teach evening aquatic exercise classes. I called her about 7 p.m. on March 14th. She immediately asked me how Yogi was doing before I had left to teach my evening class. I responded that he was apparently fine, climbing up onto our king bed just before I left.

Kat then told me that he now refused to move for her. He wouldn't even move for his evening meal. Yogi had always had a healthy appetite. Kat tried to hand-feed him some meat and dog biscuits....he wasn't interested.

I raced home. Yogi was on the floor rug next to our bed. I did get him to get up and go outside to pee, but then he came right back in, laid down on the floor next to our bed, and basically didn't move from there all night long.

Kat stayed on the floor next to him all night. I slept for a few hours because I had an early aquatics class the next morning. About 4:30 a.m. - I also got up and joined in with Kat's vigil of him. About 6 a.m., we decided that he had to go to our Vet's - most likely to be euthanized. He did manage to walk out to Kat's car in our garage. She took them to our Vet's and waited for them to open.

Our Vet knew and loved Yogi. She told Kat that his rapid, shallow breathing and thousand-mile stare were indicators that he was in severe pain. She diagnosed that either his arthritic rear hips and legs had suddenly worsened....or it was a form of congestive heart failure. She said that euthanizing him was the humane thing to do. At 7:45 a.m. March 15th, Yogi was euthanized while Kat held his massive head.

It's now been almost 2 months and our household is still grieving, although not as much as right after Yogi was put down. Both of our other dogs (also English Mastiffs) still sense that something is amiss, after all - they can still sense/smell Yogi inside and outside of our house. Kat and I are still having occasional crying jags. We did what was needed to be done, but that doesn't diminish the sorrow and feeling of loss we both still feel. His presence is so missed. RIP, dear sweet Yogi.

Yes, Kentuck, it never gets any easier. -- Michael