Reply #11: Those of us who survived it

[LWolf]

knew better than to turn our kids loose like that, lol.

In reality, the world changed. It became more crowded, more aggressive, and felt less safe.

I ran loose and free from age 10 through high school. I was the only child of a single working parent, and while ground rules were laid down, and I (usually) stuck to the letter, if not the spirit, of those rules, my mom trusted not just me, but the rest of the world. She shouldn't have.

I didn't. Having grown up with almost no structure at all, I knew to provide some for my sons. I was considered harsh for the time. The bottom line? Until I had a high school diploma on the mantle, my boys were home no later than 9pm during the week and 10pm on weekends. I was a working mom, too, and wasn't going to lose beauty sleep waiting up for them. The "Then don't wait up!! Just go to sleep!!" got them absolutely nowhere, and they learned very quickly that a broken curfew meant unhappy times ahead. We didn't have cell phones. I expected to know where they were, have a phone number, and for them to call me if they were going somewhere else. I didn't often call them, but I did make random calls now and then just so they'd know it was possible.

Of course, one of my son's classmates was murdered, and his body dumped a mile from our house, when he was a freshman in high school. Perhaps my vigilance was warranted.

Still, I didn't push my nose in too closely to what, exactly, they were doing. I made sure that they were well-educated about all the consequences to their possible choices, warned them, and kept a supply of condoms readily available in the bathroom cabinet.