Reply #35: Funny you should ask... I was just reading this

[JuniperLea]

In a nutshell, both are equally offensive! No wonder this whole deal bothers me so much. I had a fairly strict upbringing in this regard, and to tell you why would be ever so impolite.

Dear Miss Manners,
Recently you had a question from a person who felt a friend was bragging about her financial situation. I have a sort of opposite problem. I try very hard not to be a braggart when it comes to our financial situation. I try to keep how much we make, how much we spend on things, etc. private. Partially because it really isn't anyone's business but our own, and partially because telling people those sorts of things could be bragging, which would be very rude.

It seems that I can't talk about anything without it coming down to the fact that my friend has less money than me. For example, I asked her for her address so I could send her a Christmas card and she promptly told me that she wasn't sending out Christmas cards because they were too expensive ("The stamps cost more than the cards"). Any time I mention what we did over the weekend I have to hear about how she couldn't afford that. When I mentioned — in the course of a conversation — that my significant other works for his father she told me, "No wonder you guys are rich."

Nothing could be further from the truth — we are far from rich. I feel we just spend our money on different things. For example we do not have children (a conscious choice) while she has three.

My question: Is it rude to mention things we've be doing around people who can't do the same? It's not like, "Oh we just bought a new Lamborghini yesterday and we are buying a new Porsche tomorrow." I try not to bring this up without being asked, but what should I do if someone asks, "What did you do over the weekend?" Should I lie? Should I just avoid conversation about things other than work?

Gentle Reader,
Frankly, what Miss Manners would avoid is this friend of yours. Bragging about money is no less offensive in those who do not have much than in those who do. And the particular tack that your friend takes — suggesting a zero sum game, in which your money impoverishes her — is not that of a friend.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=256605&wa=wsignin1.0