Reply #33: the common assumption is

[marions ghost]

that 1. you don't like kids, or 2. you're "immature," or 3. you're weird

Usually none of the above is true.

As the world becomes more and more overpopulated, the assumption that all women must have children will thankfully go out of style.

Our society does not promote village-style group child-rearing, although there's a lot of lip service to it. But look how people (even those who are parents) fight the idea that they should support local school systems if they don't have a child there. And often even within families there is so much rigid control of kids as a reflection of the parents, and so much protection of them in their every waking moment--that no one else in the family is ever trusted with them. These are kids who are growing up with their parents as helicoptering slaves. Not healthy. This also leads to defensiveness--ie. a fear of offending people who don't have kids. Many parents join the supportive Parenting Fraternity and some of them just never seem to get out of that "exclusive club" mindset. They are the ones most bereft when the fledglings leave the nest because child-rearing, while rewarding, cannot be the only reason to exist.

Parenting is a hard job these days, but part of the problem is that there is no trust in this society, even among related or homogeneous groups. People believe intellectually that "it takes a village," but in practice they don't support the idea anymore. Our communities are held together by a thread, and so many people sense that and make the erroneous assumption that the nuclear family can stand alone. Wrong. It's too stressful and turns ordinary parents into martyrs.

Add to these conflicts the antiquated idea that everyone must reproduce as their greatest gift to future generations and these times can feel very oppressive to those who choose not to have kids.