Reply #244: Your post touched a chord for me. I was going to hit "reply" but...

[TygrBright]

...I thought I'd read the thread first.

I'm glad I did.

Buckettgirl, you have something the bullies and the bigots will NEVER have: Depth, and compassion.

You appear to be on a wonderful and fruitful journey. If my experience is anything to judge by, you are going wonderful places.

With your insight and maturity, one of two things --possibly both-- is going to happen:

1) You're going to lose some weight and pretty much keep it off. How much? Probably not as much as you think you want, right now. But enough.

2) You're going to stop caring what you weigh as long as you feel good physically and mentally. And that lack of stress will reflect itself in increased well-being.

It's always a cycle--you feel bad, so you feel worse; OR you feel good, so you feel better.

Concentrate on what makes you feel good. Your wonderful husband. What you do for your patients. (Hope if I ever need nursing care I get someone just like you!) The stuff that gives you pleasure in your life, whether it be knitting or playing SuDoKu or gardening or skateboarding or taking pictures or whatever.

Make an effort every day to notice --not the people judging you and finding you wanting because of your appearance (poor schmucks, they have no idea how much they're missing)-- but the people who think you're just wonderful. You may not believe them at first. Heck, I don't believe them after fifteen years or more. But it still feels great.

respectfully,
Bright