Reply #92: Letting go of the hatred is the hardest thing

[pipi_k]

I wasn't molested as a young child, but my daughter was, by a brother in law.

For a long long time I blamed myself, because I repeated the same mantra to my kids as my own mother said to me...."Watch out for strangers". Well, it's not always the strangers who are going to do harm to you...

This man also molested three of his own daughters, two more little girls that I know of, and tried to entice another little neighbor girl into his home but was foiled when she reported the incident to her mom and the police went to his house. He was arrested and prosecuted for what he did to my daughter and those two other little girls and served only probationary time. This was almost 25 years ago. The mental scars still remain for all the girls, now women, involved.

I hated him at first. If I could have choked the life from him, I probably would have. It's taken such a long time for me to let go of the hatred I felt toward this man. What did help was knowing that this is a sickness he can't help. In some ways, I'm probably even more angry at my sister (who is married to this man) for defending and enabling his behavior. If she hadn't been in denial herself, he might have gotten the help he so desperately needed/still needs.

My only consolation in letting this go...aside from not being consumed with hatred that, yes, will only hurt me in the end...is that whatever punishment he escaped from the legal system has been turned around and exacted by the law of Karma.

I feel that Life itself has punished him...and will continue to punish him...and that I don't have to lift a finger against him, and I can let go of the hatred that simmered inside me for so long. Funny thing is, as you've mentioned about people like that being seen by the general population as "monsters", if you saw this guy, you would never guess. Not in a million years...he seems to be the perfect husband...perfect loving father. He doesn't look like a monster at all.

Mixed feelings are so hard to deal with, aren't they...


PS...thank you for having the courage to tell your story. I'm glad that you could also find peace. :)