Reply #30: While money and/or control may be a major cause of domestic homocide....

[DeSwiss]

...I believe that it all stems from a sense of entitlement and ownership. In this patriarchal world in which we live, all societies have displayed these tendencies to some extent where women are treated as property. The owner of which can do with as he will. And it has been historically vouchsafed by religion and thus given the sanctity of god's blessing.

Of course in our more modern times, we like to think that those baser human instincts are a thing of the past, or at least under control for the most part. But in truth, the foundation for it all can be seen all around us. For example: our census tells us that women slightly outnumber men in this country, and yet we see from the local level to the federal government that the vast majority of the people who make the laws and who mete out the punishment for their violations -- are other men. Which is why I support women running for office at every level.

Intellectually, I think all men understand this, but emotionally they don't know what to do with themselves other than to lash out when they see the world they were raised to believe was to be their oyster, crumble before their eyes. And sometimes, just a challenge to his authority to make decisions. And many see women who are empowered with money, a better job or education, as a threat to their postion. Particularly in these times. Back in the day when I was a much younger man, men held jobs in factories and could count on them being there for the rest of their lives. Now, two-working adults are needed just to scrape by. And being thrown to the curb by corporate America reinforces the idea that his worth is negligible. And yet women have raised families alone (as my mother did), and had every adversity thrown at them -- things that would bring a man to his knees. Why? Because it's not supposed to be that way.

When the expectation is for men to out-earn, out-perform and be the "head" of the household it not a long leap to understand that in the absence of another paradigm, most men don't know how to respond. And even when physical violence is not a part of the conflict, psychological and emotional violence often is. I can't account for why I never felt that way. I suppose being black and growing up in the 50s and 60s, I've seen my share of discrimination, hate and needless death. And its always the innocent who suffer most. And when young boys grow up seeing this, the cycle just continues.....

IMHO

DeSwiss