Reply #13: Yes help please but be aware! There are subtleties to notice

[Resuscitated Ethics]

Agree 100% with the sentiments of the post. A few additions for peace--

if the good china is being used DON'T STACK! Ask the host(ess) for special rules...
When clearing plates DON'T TOSS THE SILVERWARE! This is a real potential heartbreaker...

By all means bring rubber gloves for dishwashing: breaking them out demonstrates the will to help.

Sometimes when a host(ess) insists on NO HELP they have maybe had a bad experience or three with overzealous table bussers and plate clearers.

Maybe running interference for the kitchen CREW will involve rounding up the kids outside, or relining trash cans, or any of the dozens of forward moving HELPFUL things.... help make the cleanup THE party. Pick the music, laugh/joke/frolic. Establish your helpful creds early: like the transition between meal and dessert, or with the extra hot pot of coffee. Nobody naps until the host(ess) naps!

NOBODY but the oldest generation should ever just park with the bourbon in front of the tube. That is so "Father Knows Best" and selfish.