Reply #7: Differnt view for me recently

[Psychmd]

A good friend of my partner found out she was pregnant this month. She decided after a lot of soul searching to have an abortion. She is in Grad school and not in a long term relationship with the father. I had a very strange reaction to this as a gay man who has struggled for over 10 years with the realization that I could not have children( at least not very easily). My partner and I have been able to adopt 3 children in the last 4 years. One from a woman who decided to seek us out to take her child at 8 months because she realized she did not want to raise him(she had backed out of an arrangement to give him up at birth to another couple). The other two were adopted from the foster care system in Indiana. Believe it or not this was not difficult in our usually backward state. I had obsessive thoughts about how our lives would be different if our children's mothers decided to abort their children. I was literally an emotional wreck for several days and broke down crying sponaneously whenver i thought about it. I have always been aggressively for a woman's right to have an abortion, but honestly never had any personal experience with anyone(to my knowledge) who had to make that decision. We were ready to approach her and give her the option of us adopting her child when she told us that she and the father went to planned parenthood together, had an ultrasound and found out she was having twins. Not sure if this was required in Illinois, but because of this she changed her mind and plans on having the children and raising them jointly with the father. She had wanted a family eventually, but wasn't sure this was the time or the right man to start a family with. I don't feel that an ultrasound should be forced on people, but it does add a significant piece to the decision process. Not trying to pass judgement on anyone, just sharing a personal story.