Reply #9: If yer tobacky juice shorts out that keyboard more'n once a week

[Warpy]

If you have to walk with your arms folded so the friction from your knuckles don't slow you down.

If you love them lists of talking points and all the neat stuff yer preacher says about the Rapture cause you can repeat 'em and yer head don't hardly hurt no more.

If you think good spelling and grammar are plumb sissy.

If you think getting another tax cut will save an economy seven trillion dollars in the red. Shoot, you intend to spend that hundred dollars a year and that'll fix everything up just fine!