Social Security - Survivors Benefits - College age kids - WTF?

[Sydnie]

Let me start by stating that SS Survivor benefits is what enabled me to attend college and have a place to live while doing so. At the time, I received a check for $300 a month to help with my expenses. It wasn't enough to cover everything, so I always had a job too, as well as selling plasma twice a week for a bit of pocket money. But, clearly, if it weren't for that benefit check, I would have not been able to stay in college.

Having said that, here is my current question, in hopes some of you can help me find the answers and give some advice on how to change this back to the way it was before.

My room mate's son - his father is dying of cancer. He is currently married to a really whack woman ... a drug addict according to the boys father. He was in the beginning processes of divorcing her when he was diagnosed with a still unknown type of cancer that is not in the bone but rather on the bone ... and spreading quickly. They have ceased treatment at this point and he is in full hospice care. He has 3 kids with his wife, she came to the marriage with one, and then there is my roomies son, who was the first born to him. So, that's 5 kids total who would be eligible for benefits once he has passed.

Looking at the formula for what would be their survivor benefits from SS, the kids would be eligible for 150-180% of his SS income collectively, but only until they reach the age of 18 (19 if they are still in secondary school). Now, he was a real hard worker when he was well, knowing that so many people were dependant on him for support. Over many years, he only paid $65 a week in child support until roomies son was approximately 13, even though it was discovered at that point in time that he was actually earning more than $100,000 a year! At that point, she went back to court and his support was increased to $225 a week for her son. That assured that things were quite a bit more comfortable for her and her son at that point. Once he became ill and began receiving SS disability for himself and the children he has with his wife, her support was automatically dropped to $186 a month by SS, even though no new court order was ever entered, so his arrears are still mounting up as far as the state is concerned. She's not looking for blood from a dying man, so please don't think that is the point of my post. It's not. I just wanted all the facts out on the table.

At the point when he was originally diagnosed, his whack wife came on the phone just after he told my roomie about his illness (and the treatment they were going to undertake) and assured her that the SS benefits they would get after his death would be "substantial" and that they would be ok. She then told my roomie that she would "have to take the youngest child (whack wife's child with him) to raise because I just can't handle her anymore". Now, other than the father being the same for both these children, these two women have really no relationship to speak of, much less one that would indicate that my roomie would be inclined to take in this child at all. But, that is just how cold hearted the whack wife is. She sees his death as a way to make money not as a loss at all. He currently is staying at his mothers house, about 15 minutes away from the house they shared (which should be foreclosed on any day as it is). She rarely comes to visit him or bring the children to see him, unless of course she wants money from him. My roomie, on the other hand, drives the hour each way several times a week, both with her son and with out him, as he seems to be happiest when she is there. She is trying to make his last days as comfortable for him and her son as she can. She knows she will be there to deal with the emotional fallout with her son once he has passed. She does this, even though there seemed to be little time or effort put forth to visit with her son for the 11 years that his child support was so low. His interest and his visits increased a bit once he paid the higher amount. Thank goodness they did, as this boy now has a relationship with his father, and is trying to deal with a loss of something that he had just gained. Not a good emotional place for any of us to be right now.

Anyway, to get to the point of the post. We had begun to check into the survivors benefits for her son as it seems the days are getting less numerous and the hope of a cure is not possible any longer. When looking at these benefits, I was shocked to see that all support would cease when he reached 18/19 and there was no longer any support for this child when he seeks a college degree. When did this change? Why did it change? How can we see that this is addressed and this type of support reinstated? Many of my generation would not have made it were it not for that type of support. How can we stop making this kind of investment in these kids who have fallen on hard times? How can we kick these kids to the back of the line if there is no other way to help them reach their goals at no fault of their own? Who thought this was a good idea and who went along with it?

My roomie and I are both single mothers who share expenses to try to make an ok life for our kids. We don't have large nest eggs, no stable college funds ... heck some months we are mugging Paul to pay off Peter, just to keep the house running. Just how are these kids that are in this situation supposed to continue their education with no safety net, lowered Pell Grants, college loans that will mean that they will be working for a good portion of their post-graduate years just to find themselves in much the same situation as they were when they started .. wondering how they are going to be able to support themselves and meet their obligations?

WTF! What kind of society have we become that we are treating these kids like throw aways instead of giving them a hand up and a safety net of any kind?