Reply #211: You know the saying, "birds of a feather flock together"?

[RagingInMiami]

That people tend to socialize with people with whom they have something in common. Obviously, there was a serious lack of compatability between you and that man. It happens.

Perhaps there were things that he was interested in that bored you. It's too bad he was unable to pursue these interests instead of turning his insecurities towards you.

As an avid reader myself, I tend to be attracted to women who also have an appreciation for the written word. I've learned how to weed out the others before a relationship progresses because I need to be mentally compatible with the women I date.

Meanwhile, many of these women have their own dating criteria, which could range from a number of things like whether I have enough money, am good-looking enough, have a nice enough car, etc. Everybody is just looking for that connection, for that spark that stimulates them, whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally.

And that is the reason many of us joined DU. In my case, I needed an outlet for my political rage, which I wasn't finding at the local level. Here on DU, there are many people I find mentally compatible. I think it's safe to say that DU as a whole has an above-average intelligence compared to the general population.

But then along comes this group proposal that is saying that some DUers are smarter than other DUers, so we need a group to separate ourselves from the general population. Just on the basis that we were told we were "gifted" as kids (I'm paraphrasing. I was never labeled "gifted").

But if you're an avid reader, wouldn't it be more suitable to join one of the book forums, either non-fiction or fiction or both?

And in all honestly, if you haven't moved past that abusive relationship, then it would probably be wiser to seek out counseling from a qualified person rather than an anonymous online group made up of people who were told or were not told, but still claim, they are gifted.

But also keep in mind that the root of your problem is not that you are gifted or you like to read or whatever. It is that you ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship.

And that, unfortunately, is something that happens to all human beings whether they are gifted or not.