Reply #11: My beloved BIL was Spec Ed all of his life. His parents wanted him

[IdaBriggs]

to be "normal" and he is physically incapable of being "normal." He was tormented unmercifully in school, and learned to "hide" his mental disability, and the family, relieved that he had "gotten better" didn't question it -- until two bimbos rooked him out of $50,000 (because he will do WHATEVER you tell him to do), at which point we finally had him tested as an adult. (He's 33.) He is remarkably high functioning, but there are just some concepts he cannot grasp -- four quarters equals one dollar, and ten dimes equals one dollar, and one hundred pennies equals one dollar -- and so we are doing what should have been done fifteen years ago -- getting him a guardianship / conservatorship to PROTECT HIM.

He will not be able to enter into legal contracts, which means no more bimbos trying to take his money, but it also means he will never be allowed to be married. That was harder on his dad and brother than it was on him because they wanted him to be NORMAL, but honestly, he can't understand medical decisions for himself, so how could he handle the legal responsibility of making medical decisions for a spouse?

I love my BIL; he is a sweet man. He works hard, but will never make more than minimum wage, and it is up to us to take care of him. I am grateful he got as much help as he did in school, but at a certain point, he just didn't belong in the "mainstream" of normal children because he needed different help than children who aren't mentally disabled. He can do math at a third grade level, and read at a fourth grade level, and he did NOT belong in an Algebra class, or a college prep English class. It would have destroyed HIS self esteem, and taken away from the opportunities that should have been open to other people.

I am not saying people with problems should be "thrown away" -- what I am saying is that idealism and practical problem solving have got to find a happy medium, and beating up on someone who is saying the obvious is a deliberate ignoring of the harsh realities of life. There is a finite supply of money available to the schools, there are only so many teachers, and there are hungry minds that MUST BE FED -- not everyone can eat the same food at the same pace.

Step One is to admit there is a problem. Step Two is to find the best solutions for everybody.