Reply #251: impossible to do - if the incident is a rape.

[salin]

I want sex.

You indicate you don't want to have sex.

I want sex and am going to have it whether or not you want it. (By definition : FORCING the will and then violating the other person's body).

At the moment there is the decision that one's drive and desire to have sex is being thwarted by the other person, and the decision is made to FORCE the sex to happen - it becomes about power - and the act is violent.

My point is that at that moment it is as much about sex - as it is about dominating the other person who does not want to have it - and that is when rape stops being about sex and becomes about power (and violence to the victim).

It could be that initially the rapist is in it for sexual reasons - but once that line is crossed it is also mixed with power (to dominate, to force submission, not about something barely physical, or even something like punching someone in the nose - but about forcing part of one's body INTO another person's body who does not want that to happen. How is that not violent?)