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New Salem, South Dakota -- State Senators John Malleus (R, Nisland) and Philip Mallificarum (R, Huron) introduced a bill on Wednesday that would make "witchcraft and other black arts" a capital crime, with conviction leading to execution by burning at the stake. "The Holy Bible teaches that you shall not suffer a witch to live," Sen. Malleus stated at a press conference in Pierre. "For too long, the liberal court system has prevented devout Christians from excercising our Godly duty." Sen. Mallificarum added, "We believe that the new Supreme Court will finally take our side in this issue and help restore God's holy law to this land."
The bill is expected to pass the Senate with little debate, and capitol watchers predict easy passage in the House. Governor Mike Rounds has already exressed his support and is expected to sign the bill if it lands on his desk.
DISCLAMER It should be obvious, but I'm going to say it anyway: this is satire.
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