I talked to my ex last week.

[LWolf]

For the first time in two years. I talked to him a handful of times after I moved out 4 years ago, once two years ago, and that was it.

When he made his big announcement, that he was in love with someone else and wanted out of the marriage, I was gone in 10 days. I tried to tell him how I felt, and what I thought, then. He wouldn't hear it. So I left. I left house, home, and almost all the "stuff" behind. I did it all without his help, although he offered several times. Wounded pride, crushed heart, or something, would not allow me to accept his help. I didn't look back. It took years to "get over it." A few to get over the marriage. I don't know that I ever got over the loss of the friendship; we grew up together. We'd been friends all of our lives.

Now I'm moving 900 miles away. When I put in an offer on my new place, they asked me how I wanted to take title. I had to blink. I didn't know. I didn't know if I was divorced, or not. Originally, I filed a separation so that I could buy a little house without him attached to it. I've held title as "married woman, her sole and separate property." Two years ago he contacted me to tell me he was changing the separation to a divorce. I said go ahead. I never got any paperwork of any kind, so I didn't know if it had been done or not.

It was a big deal to pick up the phone and dial my old phone number; like dialing my old life. He still uses the same answering machine message I left behind. I left a message asking him to contact me, and got a call back within a couple of hours. I'm divorced; he mailed me a copy of the paperwork the next day. He asked questions about my mom and sons, and asked me to please let him know if there was anything he could do to help. He was warm, and sounded eager to talk to me. I was fine on the phone, and cried for an hour after I hung up. I'm crying now, just remembering. Why is this so hard, after all this time?

There actually is one thing I need help with that he is uniquely qualified to do. I don't know anyone else with those qualifications. I can't bring myself to call him again, or ask him.

At least I know I'm divorced. Part of me would like to change my name. The other part of me doesn't want to have to change all of my licenses, accounts, etc..

<sigh>