Reply #2: Nice essay

[supernova]

And I totally relate to the author. Don't have a cat, but I have lots of books. ;-)

Been divorced for 11 years, with little stops every few years, but nothing serious. I had an emotionally abusive marriage. So for quite a number of years, I was terrified I was going to be attracted to a similar person, not be able to recognize someone worth being attracted to. Intellectually, I know not all men are like that. Neither my father nor my brother was/is. It's just that I have had difficulty crossing paths with more mentally healthy men. I think I've about got the rotten stuff out of my system.

For the most part, I've been content solo. Lately however, I have longed for a relationship. Dating? So far it's just been "interesting" experiences. Ones that are OK, but nothing special and one really rotten one. The one thing about internet dating that really concerns me, is when I meet a guy for the first time, he seems 7-8 steps ahead of me in terms of attraction. He is already attracted to me and wants to immediately have sex. I'm just thinking "wow, I've known you five whole minutes. I don't know if I like you yet or not, let alone whether or not I want to sleep with you." I hate feeling the need to immediately put on the brakes. Lately, I've taken to saying, "This is just coffee, not a tacit agreement to hook up. That mismatch in expectations is very difficult for me to negotiate.

I would very much like to find someone I can think of as a friend first, lovers as we go along. But I don't know if anyone is still interesting in relating this way anymore.

Sign me,

Dating, putting myself out there, but still confused as all hell. And trying not to calcify into my solo habits so much that I reject any and all forms of love.

P.S. The Comments section is horrible! :wow:

A few supportive people, and lots of rancorous douche bags!

Thanks for the interesting link. :-)