Reply #49: Ok...I was recently browsing

[Vektor]

in a Chinese herb shop with my husband, when we came across this lovely looking tea. It claimed to "relieve upset stomach and soothe digestive problems". As I am prone to queasiness, and tend to get upset stomachs when stressed, I bought some.

It's been sitting in the cabinet for a couple of weeks now, and since I am feeling a little sick right now, I decided to have a cup. I opened up one of the bags, and the tea was a rich, black color, and smelled sort of like Chamomile, but a little sharper. I brewed the tea, and upon drinking it, found it to be rather pleasant tasting...a little bit bland, but not bad at all.

Shortly after I finished the cup, I felt an strange, though not entirely unpleasant flutter in my bowel. Suddenly a sense of urgency overcame me, and I ran to the bathroom, and barely made it to the toilet seat before I began to SHIT MYSELF BLIND. Seriously - I shit a week's worth of payload. In fact, I shit out foods I haven't eaten yet! It seemed it would never end...I had no idea my bowel could CONTAIN that much, let alone pass it in one fell swoop. Suffice it to say, I did eventually finish, and upon inspection - yes I looked at it! I HAD to! I saw what could only be described as a coiled cobra, with its head peeking out of the water, ready to strike. The color of it was most intriguing - a rich burnt sienna if you will...

I tried to flush the savage beast, but the toilet would not accept it. The snake just did a strange little shimmying dance, but refused to go down the plumbing. So, I had no choice but to dismember it with the handle of the toilet brush...

(Which I washed, and THEN discarded in the large outdoor trash bin. It will be replaced.)

Later on, I went and read the box to see if there were any WARNINGS to the effect of: "Caution, drinker may pass four-foot shitsnake."

There wasn't. But the funny thing is, the tea is called "Pu-Erh"

Oh, yes, I "Pu-ed" alright, and "ERH" it was a BIG ONE.

I think the Chinese are playing a very dirty trick on me.