on learning to trust intuition, et al

[Idylle Moon Dancer]

first I'd like to express my appreciation for this place and everyone here. I find you all and it very soothing.

Lately I've been feeling like I would be a lot closer to where I should be had I been better able to trust my intuition and/or been able to distinguish it from "something else." Maybe I'm getting better with this, it's hard for me to tell and I seek guidance; recently I had a strong urge to direct someone here, who's been having some difficulties, towards one of my compositions. I'm very, perhaps excessively and detrimentally, paranoid about people stealing my work. For several days "the urge" and the paranoia did battle, with "the urge" emerging victorious, and I received validation that I'd done the right thing, and it feels very good.

That anecdote illustrates a common theme in my life, that of battle between intuition and fear of risk, of the unknown, of uncertainty in my intuition; all too often, it seems, it is fear that wins.

et al: this seems related somehow, but I can't consciously express a connection:

When I was very young I had frequent dreams where I was floating around in my kitchen/pantry; these dreams were very vivid, perhaps even lucid, and all of the physical details of the dream kitchen matched those of the awake kitchen. I have no idea why I was floating around in my kitchen, except maybe that I liked to climb on top of the refrigerator when I was awake. Within a small few years of having these dreams I had the only prescient dream that I can recall, concerning the feeding habits of cicadas.