Reply #54: My personal story is very atypical.

[Chovexani]

In my case, I never really bought the fundie bill of goods. I went along with it because it was what expected, and I was longing for acceptance from my family. I'm a natural born seeker, though. While I'm pre-disposed to believing in spirituality, I have not ever accepted anything at face value. Even when I was trying my hardest to be a Good Christian, I constantly questioned everything. I even got kicked out of my youth group at church for it.

I was disillusioned early on and ended up leaving at 14, and started exploring other spiritual paths before settling on Wicca. I can honestly say that it wasn't armchair liberal theologians arguing with me about how I was reading the Bible wrong that got me to leave. It was rejection from my peers and my own stubborn refusal to accept the status quo that prompted it.

That's why I didn't really bring up why or how I left. While there are others like me out there, we're a distinct minority. Most fundies are raised that way, never get to the point where they feel comfortable enough to start questioning things, and that's not something that can be forced, from my experience. Like someone else said up thread, it's like being caught in the Matrix. Only a red pill alone isn't enough to free you from it. I do support groups like Soulforce though because it's very important for ex-fundies to have a support system of some kind. For many, leaving the church behind means leaving behind family, friends, and community.

I liken it unto an addiction, to be honest, which is why I use recovery language. No one can force someone into rehab and have it really work. The addict first has to admit to having a problem. Even now, as a free spirited, openly bisexual, kinky, polyamorous Pagan that has been out of the church for 10+ years, I still have moments of doubt and guilt that are lingering relics of my fundie past.