Reply #68: LOL!!! (scene from my play)

[Evoman]

"A number of atheists here are working very hard to insist upon a certain definition of who is a Christian or not. Very, very hard"

OMG...tell me you see the irony! Kwassa, baby, you gotta see the irony!

I think a scene from my play is in order...

<scene start>

*Evoman is walking down the street when he sees his old friend and nemesis, Pat the Fundie on the street*

Evoman: Hey Pat, hows it going?

Pat: Not bad, Heathen. You?

Evoman: Oh, I'm fine. You heading to church?

Pat: OF COURSE HEATHEN. We are having a special sermon on liberal swine.

Evoman: Um..thats..ah...pretty christian of you I guess.

Pat: ARE YOU SAYING I AM NOT CHRISTIAN, HEATHEN!!

EVoman: Oh no...I'm letting you DEFINE YOURSELF. I wouldn't presume to know your mind. You go to church religiously....I would say your a christian.

Pat: *calming down* Okay Heathen. See you later *leaves*

*Evoman continues on his walk down the street. Out of the corner of his eye he see his good friend
Kielbasa Sausage*

Evoman: Kielbasa! Over here. Hows it going?

Kielbasa: Great, great Evoman. And you?

Evoman: Fantastic, thanks Kielbasa. Off to church?

Kielbasa: No! Its tuesday!. We are having a special sermon on How to Be More Christlike on Sunday though.

Evoman: Cool, Cool...I just saw Pat. Hes going to church too...

Kielbasa: Pat! Bah. Hes not a real christian.

Evoman: No? He goes to church about seven times a week, and told me he is a christian.

Kielbasa: He is not.

Evoman: How do you know that. From what I know about PAt, he seems to really believe in christ and love him. I imagine that if your worship christ, your a christian.

Kielbasa: Says who? Who gives you the authority to make this statement? Like, God or something?

Evoman: So your saying that no one has the authority to define others? So then, by his own definition, Pat is christian.....

Kielbasa: NO! Bottom line, there are many different ways one can be judged or not judged to be a Christian. Anyone with a tiny understanding of the teachings of Jesus could not consider Pat a Christian. I note that the "evidence" supporting this notion is from Pat own speeches. Since Pat was attempting to manipulate the world with these speeches and an inveterate liar, there is no reason to consider this evidence at all. We can only consider his actions, which certainly contain no Christian element whatsoever.

Evoman: So people who lie and cheat, or commit genocide, are not true christians?

Kielbasa: Egg-zactly, Evoman.

Evoman: So then your defining Christians as people who don't lie or cheat.

Kielbasa: Right.

Evoman: But..its that a bit..um...hypocriti....

Kielbasa: Why do some you care so much as to who is Christian or isn't? A number of atheists here are working very hard to insist upon a certain definition of who is a Christian or not. Very, very hard.

Evoman: No..I wasn't defining anybody..I was letting people define thems....

Kielbasa:I have to go now. Bye Evoman...have a great day.

Evoman: Um..yeah. See ya Kielbasa Sausage.

*end of scene*