BREAKING: Jesus Christ to return to Earth to endorse Obama

[sniffa]

BREAKING: Jesus Christ to return to Earth to endorse Obama
The King of Kings to endorse Obama on Tuesday at a rally in Branson.
Critics play down the value of the endorsement.

By Sniffa
Published: January 27, 2008

Branson, MO - Stunning news from the Kingdom of Heaven, as Jesus has announced his long awaited return to Earth; though not to begin the Revelations, but to throw his considerable weight behind the candidacy of Barrack Obama, the Junior Senator from Illinois in his hard fought battle against Hillary Clinton for the Presidency.

The endorsement is a major coup for the Obama campaign, as the Huckabee camp had been actively seeking the Lord's backing. Reached for comment, Governor Huckabee congratulated the Senator on the endorsement, but then went on to question whether this was the one and true, Jesus, further ratcheting up the vitriol in an already, increasingly negative campaign.

"If one takes a look at where the endorsement is going to take place - Branson - one has to seriously question whether this is really the true Jesus, or is it the Mormon Jesus" said Huckabee. "And as I'm sure I don't need to remind you, Mormon Jesus is the brother of Satan. That's not a potato sack I wish to climb into."

The Clinton campaign was also quick to dismiss the endorsement. In a conference call with reporters, Chief Clinton strategist Mark Penn questioned whether the endorsement would make much of a difference.

"Look, when you take a step back and look at the big picture, this endorsement doesn't mean that much," opined Penn. "Polling trends have shown that church attendance have been on the wane for decades. And I'd also like to point out that Barrack Hussein Obama has claimed that this race is about the past versus the future. Well you can't get more in the past than 33 A.D."

Mark Penn went on to compare the Son of God unfavorably to Senator John Kerry's unsuccessful bid for the White House in 2004.

"Look, it doesn't surprise me that Jesus and Kerry have both decided to join the Obama camp," said Penn. "In 2004, Kerry didn't fight back against the swift boating, and Jesus didn't fight back against the Romans when they crucified him. You can expect the same response from Obama when the right wing smear machine gets going. Senator Clinton is the only candidate with the proven track record of fighting back."

The Obama campaign plans to release a statement later today.

Sniffa is a contributing writer to Democratic Underground.