Reply #38: Just got back from seeing Bobby.

[Chalco]

I have never sobbed so much. Everything since his death has been a sham. His death was the end of hope. My husband didn't want to go. He had read reviews that said it was amatueurish or worse. He thanked me for insisting he go. He sobbed with me. The crowd was silent at the end. No one could move. No one could talk. It was as if our world had shattered again. I could not talk for a long time I was so overcome with grief.

I wanted to see Bobby because Emelio Estevez said that there was nothing that had moved him more than seeing his father sobbing when Bobby died. It became his life's mission to make the movie. He invested everything in this project. His life, his emotion, his wallet, his soul. At one point he had writer's block for a year. His brother, Charlie, was dispatched to get him off his butt. Emelio said he didn't know what to do he was stuck. Charlie said, just get out of town, just go. Emelio got in his car and drove and ended up in a motel. He struck up a conversation with the receptionist who said that she had been in the hotel the night Bobby was killed. Emelio felt his meeting her was divine intervention. He put her character in the movie. She was Diane, the woman who married a young man so he didn't have to go to Vietnam.

Bobby's words at the end were so powerful and such an antithesis to the current situation we find ourselves in. It made me realize that when we are in shock as a nation the aggressive ones take over and because we are in shock we cannot imagine that they would do something that is harmful to us and to our nation, but they do. They take advantage of us.

I remember after 9/11 being in such shock that when Bush gave his "speech" about needing to invade Iraq in front of the White House Press Corps my mind was telling me that he would not suggest something vile. That could not be possible. He must be telling the truth. This is what my mind told me while another part of me said, but he is lying. I wanted to believe him. I didn't want to think that we were being tricked and used. But we were.

When Bobby died I was 20 years old. It was the end of hope. Since then we lost our will and are no longer a force of good.

We must revolt and we must do it now.