Reply #16: Hypothetical Daily Show Excerpt:

[Deere_John]

Jon Stewart: And here with a report on the elections in Iran, is our very own Rob Corddry. Rob:

Rob Corddry: Hello Jon. Iran watchers in the Bush administration are very disappointed in the fatally flawed elections held here recently. They had hoped to see democracy advance here in Iran, but now see a major setback.

JS: Rob, what was the problem with the election? Were people prevented from voting?

RC: Nah, looks like pretty much everybody that wanted to vote got to.

JS: There were problems with counting the votes?

RC: Doesn't look like it John. The losers are complaining about all sorts of things, but nobody's said the votes weren't counted.

JS: Was it then, that the winner got in by such a tiny margin that he had no real mandate?

RC: Nope. Won by more then 7 million votes.

JS: Uhhhhh.... Rob, where's the problem?

RC: Jon, in the 21st century we've stopped obsessing over process and focused on what counts: the outcome. And the Bush people here think this outcome blows dog.

Besides, you can't believe how primitive the election process is here. There are no exit polls that make "bad" predictions. No sophisticated electronic voting machines with secret software made by shadowy companies no one seems to know much about. And, no voters left standing in line for hours on end. All they do here is make marks on slips of paper, stuff them into a box, and at the end of the day, count up the marks and just hand the office to the clown that gets the biggest count. Sheesh!

JS: So, basically our guys are unhappy that some guy they don't like went and got a bunch more votes, is that it?

RC: Yup. Looks like Iranians have an awwwwwwful lot to learn about democracy. Back to you Jon.