So you've decided to vote for John McCain.

[stratomagi]

Your candidate lost the primary, and that good for nothing weasel of an opponent to your candidate is now the nominee. What the fuck are those kool-aid drinkers thinking?! Anyway, you're really hurt. You've invested time and money in this candidate and have been a supporter of theirs for years. You knew this year they would run and win the nomination and beat the living snot out of any candidate the Republicans would throw at them.

But alas, they lost. And you are mad. You are so mad at the other candidate and their supporters!!! Fucking assholes! THEY RUINED EVERYTHING! You'll show them a thing or two though, oh buddy yes you will. You're not gonna take this sitting down. The other candidate stole the nomination from yours. They need to pay! Fuck staying home, you're voting. You're voting against that turd just like you did in the primary. COME NOVEMBER YOU'RE VOTING FOR JOHN MCCAIN!

If this sounds like you then you've come to the right place. We're going to imagine a world where you got your revenge, you and others like you voted for John McCain despite the fact that he stands against practically everything you believe in just to get back at that bastard that stole YOUR DREAM!

Aftermath of a John McCain win in November:

1. I'm not going to spout off what everyone does on this board when they react to your decision to vote for John McCain. I'm sure you heard plenty of times how he's gonna get up to 3 superduper-conservative judges on the supreme court and have Roe v. Wade overturned. The point is that would be the icing on the cake. Have a problem with your civil rights being violated? Forget that jazz because the court ain't gonna hear it.

2. Don't even worry about your rights however because with gas at 8 dollars a gallon you're not even gonna be leaving the house much. Your commute to work, if its close enough, consists of rollerblading 5 to 10 miles one way every day. You keep your car in the garage for emergencies, empty of course lest someone break in and siphon gas from it. You keep the gas in large plastic jugs in your bedroom so you know its safe and secure. Meanwhile the CEO of Exxon has commissioned the building of an exact replica of Scrooge's money bin from Duck Tales in Dubai of all places.

3. You used to own your own house but you foreclosed because you couldn't pay your mortgage and really no one gave a rats ass, so now you live in a crummy apartment complex because this slumlord doesn't do credit checks. Oh and you've decided as a lifestyle choice its better to not have a phone. No way for anyone looking for money to reach you.

4. Because of gas prices and because the value of the dollar tanked due to all the money China loaned us to pay for the Iraq war, which president McCain said would be absolutely over before the end of his second term, you shop almost exclusively at WalMart for your groceries because hey, at 5 dollars a can, corn is a steal!

5. That crazy guy you see downtown every day, the one that talks craziness to invisible people and only has brief lucid periods where he begs for change. The one with the 3 purple hearts on his beat up Red Sox cap, yeah well after his 4th tour in Iraq he just couldn't handle life anymore, but the VA said he was totally fine. Now you cross the street just to avoid him because his loud arguments with nobody make you uncomfortable.

6. Now that the draft has been reinstated president McCain is sure that the 7th surge will do the trick and the Iranians will love us and quit blowing up all those Krispie Kremes we try to give them. Oh by the way your son was drafted for the surge. This is actually great because its not like you would've been able to afford sending him to college. And besides he'll have some sort of healthcare, which less than half of us have anymore.




And you are perfectly fine with this because hey; at least you showed that no good asshole and his cult like supporters!