Reply #63: I second the above

[Euromutt]

Statistical makes a bunch of excellent recommendations. However, to perhaps ease the process slightly, let me recommend a few specific models you might want to look at first:

1. http://www.teamglock.com/Glock-Buyers-Guide/Glock-19.htm>Glock 19;
2. http://www.springfield-armory.com/xd.php?model=3>Springfield Armory XD, in 9x19mm with 4" barrel ("Service" model);
3. http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=11101&storeId=10001&productId=45932&langId=-1&parent_category_rn=15711&isFirearm=Y>Smith & Wesson M&P, in 9x19mm with 4.25" barrel;
4. http://www.ruger.com/Firearms/FAProdView?model=5719>Ruger SP101, in .357 Magnum with 3" barrel;
5. http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=11101&langId=-1&productId=14798&tabselected=tech&isFirearm=Y&parent_category_rn=15705>S&W 686, in .357 Magnum with 4" barrel.

The Glock, XD and M&P are all "striker-fired" pistols, simple to use and maintain, and available in a variety of calibers (9x19mm, .357 SIG, .40 S&W, .45 ACP). Of these, 9x19mm is the most controllable for a novice shooter, while still having adequate incapacitating effects with the right ammunition. Speer Gold Dot, Federal Hydra-Shok, and Remington Golden Sabre are all good choices, preferably in 115-grain bullet weight (though 124-grain will do, but avoid 147-grain); moreover, all these manufacturers also produce a cheap FMJ round (suitable for practice) that has the same ballistics as their defensive ammo (Speer "Lawman", Federal "American Eagle", Remington "UMC").

With the revolvers, it should be pointed out that, because the .357 Magnum cartridge is essentially a lengthened and more powerful version of the .38 Special, revolvers chambered for .357M can safely accept and fire .38Spl cartridges (but not vice-versa). And because such guns are made to handle the more powerful .357M, the felt recoil of a .38Spl is much less than in a gun specifically chambered for .38Spl. So a viable option, if .357M is too powerful for you, at least initially, is to load your .357M revolver with .38Spl (or .38Spl+P) loads. The only downside to this method is that you will have to clean out the chambers of the cylinder.

An advantage of all these models is that you can get http://www.crimsontrace.com/>Crimson Trace laser grips for all of them. Laser grips provide a laser sight that is activated simply by squeezing on the grip. If you can afford them, get them.

Also, I thoroughly recommend you read http://www.corneredcat.com>"Cornered Cat", a site aimed especially at women looking to acquire a handgun for home/personal defense.