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(Actually, it might make an interesting alternative history premise to ask how the U.S. would have developed if we'd made Mexico a state back in 1848.)
Of course there are so many differences between the histories of the US and Canada that one could never construct an alternative history for the US equivalent to Canada's. I wouldn't want to suggest that one could.
For us, it was the colonial power that did the incorporating, and then the two of us together -- French and English Canada (keeping in mind that there is "French Canada" outside Quebec, as well) -- put together a deal between ourselves (not consulting the First Nations, for sure), and divested ourselves (through a series of steps) of the colonial power as one unit. (There are even all sorts of nuances here, since Quebec, the major part of the French fact here, refused to sign on to the final step when Canada's new constitution was adopted and "patriated" in 1982.)
Your alternative scenario would indeed have been more along the lines of, as you say, "incorporating" Mexico. The power relationship having been unequal, Mexico would not really have been in a position to negotiate the kind of balanced deal that the old French Canada did here, and the process would quite likely have resulted in assimilation of Mexico. The U.S. was (not at all blameably) rather busy establishing its own nationhood at the time, including establishing its borders. By doing it the other way around -- the incorporation first, at a time when the French/English Canada balance of power was not so unequal, allowed the French component to continue developing as an entity in itself, until nearly a century later both English and French components had matured, within secure international borders, and could deal as relative equals -- we were able to make a quite different arrangement.
So in a way, it is to Mexico's (and the world's) benefit that the incorporation didn't happen. Cultural diversity is part of the global heritage, and the loss of any culture is a loss to us all. Unfortunately, of course, people can't live by culture alone, and tend to want a little economic development.
Forgive me ... I've just spent the week working on a bunch of collective-rights (culture, language) stuff, and it's kind of leaking out.
Around here, popular wisdom is that the big difference between Canada and the US is that the US created itself by rebellion and force while we did it by ... well, I guess popular wisdom is that we never did it. It's always seemed obvious to me that there are far bigger historical differences, of the kind I've been babbling about, that are the real underlying reasons for much of the contemporary difference.
But there is a certain parallel between the incorporation of Quebec and the non-incorporation of Mexico, and it is indeed very important to consider the roots of the current cross-border migration situation between the US and Mexico if any real (and modern) solution is to be found.
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