Reply #16: Fell in a puddle of.....(sniff, sniff)....vodka?

[Patiod]

So I'm shopping after work, wearing a skirt and moderate heels. Slipped in a puddle in front of the meat department, landed on my ass with my leg underneath me.

Fortunately, I was okay, but before I could even stand up, they were there with a questionnaire, trying to get me to absolve the store of any liability. As they were going through the questions, I realized that the puddle was VODKA. From my position, I could see a broken bottle under one of the freezer cases.

"I think that's your problem," I said, pointing to the broken bottle under the case.

"It is yours?"

"No, it's not mine! I didn't even see it until I slipped and fell in it". I stood up, told them they were probably going to be safe, because a) I'm okay and b) if I'm not okay, I have decent health insurance.

But I suggested they mop up the vodka before someone who is either greedy or uninsured comes along, falls, and REALLY hurts themself. And I told them that if the police stopped me on the way home and ran me in because my clothes reeked of vodka, I was calling them up and getting them to bail me out of jail.