Reply #12: I'm not gay.....

[Heddi]

but I have alot of gay friends, mostly male.

I would never EVER use the word 'queer' to describe anyone's lifestyle.

However, my gay male friends use the word "queer" to describe themselves, or their friends, etc.

I equate it with "nigger"---a black person has every right to use the word as they see fit. A white person doesn't. My black friends use versions of "nigger" (negro, nigga, etc) amongst themselves, but far be it for me, a white female, to go up to my black friend, slap 'em on the back and say "What up, my nigger?" It's just wrong for me to use it in that way. He's not "my nigger", he's my friend, and I don't see anything friendly in using such an offensive word to address my friends.

Same with "queer", or Fag or Fairy or dyke---as a straight person, I have no right to use those words. For too long, they were used by heterosexual to degrade those with lifestyles which conflicted with their own.

I can't use those words the same way someone who is gay can use them. I never would.

For many years, Nigger, Wop, Kike, Chink, Fag, Dyke---these words have been used in oppressive ways by people of my race and my sexual orientation. Rightfully so, we have lost the 'rights' to use those terms.

The oppressed now have the rights to use those once negative terms on THEIR temrs. To take away the hatred that had been associated with them for so long and to use them as their own definition fits.

I have family members, who are white, who use the word 'nigger" and not in an endearing way.

I have family members who are straight who use the word "Fag", and not mean it in a wonderfully loving way.

Therefore, because there are still people, who look like me (white, heterosexual, etc) and use those words negatively, I cannot---will not use those words. THey don't apply to me in the sense that I don't feel hate towards blacks, or asians, or homosexuals, and they don't apply to me in the sense that I"m not black, or asian, or homosexual.

They're off limits for me, and I cringe when I hear some "Kool Kid" say something like "Yeah, my FAG friend and I went to blah blah blah"....do they mean it 'endearing" or is it veiled disgust?