|
Have you read "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus?" 'Cause it's a good book. "Nice" is a woman's way of telling you she likes you, but she's not attracted to you. Attraction is an odd thing. I am a member of a drinking/discussion group. There's like, a 5 way love quintangle there where three guys like this one girl, two guys like me, and I like the guy who doesn't like me. The other girl, by the way, has a boyfriend who is none of the above guys. So anyway, it's NOT ON. Nobody is getting anywhere. It's not that anyone's a creep or a bad person, it's just NOT ON. I'm sure you've met girls who were GOOD PEOPLE, but when you thought about dating them, you were just like "meh." That's how it is. NICE GUY is a code for "Not total scum, but not Mr. Right." Hey, at least you had the decency to call her afterward.  |
| -Women tell guys the truth don't call them nice. |
SIMPLYB1980 |
Feb-22-07 09:34 AM |
#0 |
 -
Maybe she was being honest. |
Buzz Clik |
Feb-22-07 09:40 AM |
#1 |
  -
Would it accomplish anything if she said you are "too boring", or "too dumb" or |
SharonAnn |
Feb-22-07 09:59 AM |
#10 |
| -
My husband told me that all the ladies |
ayeshahaqqiqa |
Feb-22-07 09:40 AM |
#2 |
| -
Is he a nice guy? |
Mika |
Feb-22-07 09:42 AM |
#4 |
| -
No, but niceness is a NECESSARY but not SUFFICIENT condition |
Lydia Leftcoast |
Feb-22-07 09:46 AM |
#7 |
| -
Ok. Agreed. But, did you tell dates that they're boring or too narrow for you? |
Mika |
Feb-22-07 09:51 AM |
#9 |
| -
No, I just said that there was no chemistry |
Lydia Leftcoast |
Feb-22-07 10:38 AM |
#18 |
| -
Absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy |
ayeshahaqqiqa |
Feb-22-07 08:17 PM |
#69 |
| -
Sometimes there's nothing specific |
Lydia Leftcoast |
Feb-22-07 09:40 AM |
#3 |
| -
Good advice. |
Mika |
Feb-22-07 09:45 AM |
#6 |
| -
I second that. Being called nice with no other input is particularly emasculating. n/t |
poverlay |
Feb-22-07 09:42 AM |
#5 |
| -
If one can't take the heat, then get outta the kitchen. |
Mika |
Feb-22-07 09:48 AM |
#8 |
| -
If the success rate of some assholes I know is any indication |
Bassic |
Feb-23-07 07:05 AM |
#85 |
| -
What the heck is this? |
Idealist Hippie |
Feb-22-07 10:09 AM |
#11 |
| -
I never said anything like that. |
SIMPLYB1980 |
Feb-22-07 10:54 AM |
#19 |
| -
Sorry -- I was responding to "Poverlay", Post #5 -- |
Idealist Hippie |
Feb-22-07 11:07 AM |
#21 |
| -
I didn't say not getting a second date was emasculating, I said that being labeled "nice" as a |
poverlay |
Feb-22-07 11:27 AM |
#22 |
| -
Interesting |
lukasahero |
Feb-22-07 11:49 AM |
#25 |
| -
I really don't thing manly and nice are mutually exclusive. All I have to do to disprove that is to |
poverlay |
Feb-22-07 12:11 PM |
#28 |
| -
"Most attributes considered "manly" do not fall into the "nice" category" |
lukasahero |
Feb-22-07 12:20 PM |
#29 |
| -
Good point |
Lydia Leftcoast |
Feb-22-07 12:56 PM |
#30 |
| -
Yes. |
Radical Activist |
Feb-22-07 05:49 PM |
#55 |
| -
I like this thread |
rockymountaindem |
Feb-22-07 08:20 PM |
#70 |
| -
I have broken up with guys before |
XemaSab |
Feb-24-07 12:07 AM |
#175 |
| -
A lot of immature women (and men) will seem to go for the person |
smirkymonkey |
Feb-25-07 07:33 PM |
#187 |
| -
I think that there's another interpretation |
Orrex |
Feb-22-07 01:01 PM |
#31 |
| -
I Call It the "Inaudible 'But...'" |
Crisco |
Feb-23-07 10:50 AM |
#115 |
| -
Exactly. |
bushwentawol |
Feb-23-07 12:03 PM |
#134 |
| -
Very perceptive n./t |
rockymountaindem |
Feb-22-07 07:40 PM |
#67 |
| -
From my experience, it doesn't necessarily come off as THE reason |
Bassic |
Feb-23-07 07:09 AM |
#86 |
| -
Lukasahero nailed it |
Patiod |
Feb-23-07 08:22 AM |
#90 |
| -
Aw (not what you think) |
lukasahero |
Feb-23-07 08:26 AM |
#91 |
| -
Least painful breakup ever |
Patiod |
Feb-23-07 09:24 AM |
#102 |
| -
Right on! |
raccoon |
Feb-23-07 08:46 AM |
#97 |
| -
Gee - I guess the next time I go on a date and I find that there is |
smirkymonkey |
Feb-25-07 07:25 PM |
#186 |
| -
It's not either/or -- "interesting" is another layer needed, on top of "nice." |
Idealist Hippie |
Feb-22-07 11:54 AM |
#26 |
| -
Agreed. n/t |
poverlay |
Feb-22-07 12:08 PM |
#27 |
| -
So maybe a woman should use another adjective instead of "nice?" |
raccoon |
Feb-23-07 08:44 AM |
#96 |
| -
this sure explains a lot, doesn't it? |
freeplessinseattle |
Feb-22-07 11:40 AM |
#23 |
| -
I'm sorry if you thought I was calling this a feminist term. |
SIMPLYB1980 |
Feb-22-07 01:39 PM |
#32 |
| -
Singular: Woman; Plural: Women |
PelosiFan |
Feb-23-07 01:44 PM |
#152 |
| -
Okay, I'll be honest with you. |
SmokingJacket |
Feb-22-07 10:10 AM |
#12 |
| -
Hmmm no response |
sandnsea |
Feb-22-07 03:59 PM |
#47 |
| -
They would be asking themselves, "Who are you? What makes you tick?" |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 05:55 PM |
#164 |
| -
DING DING DING!! |
lildreamer316 |
Feb-22-07 04:00 PM |
#48 |
| -
Best advice on this thread. Hope OP is listening, because your post says it all. |
patricia92243 |
Feb-22-07 06:28 PM |
#62 |
| -
Indeed |
WilliamPitt |
Feb-23-07 08:18 AM |
#89 |
| -
I agree! |
latebloomer |
Feb-24-07 06:52 PM |
#182 |
| -
I had a woman in my life... |
Tandalayo_Scheisskopf |
Feb-22-07 10:14 AM |
#13 |
| -
Not exactly on topic, but I like the "Sheisskopf" part of your name |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-22-07 10:26 AM |
#15 |
| -
Women who go for "bad boys" are basically immature |
Lydia Leftcoast |
Feb-22-07 10:56 AM |
#20 |
| -
Exactly! Immature people of BOTH sexes go for the wrong things. |
redqueen |
Feb-22-07 03:50 PM |
#41 |
| -
I'm afraid in young males, the gonads speak with a unique eloquence. |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 06:00 PM |
#165 |
| -
After reading this |
Radical Activist |
Feb-22-07 05:53 PM |
#56 |
| -
Sounds like your friend and some of these other women you've known |
raccoon |
Feb-23-07 08:56 AM |
#99 |
| -
If the roles were reversed would you be able to tell her the specifics? |
TlalocW |
Feb-22-07 10:23 AM |
#14 |
| -
It sounds like she should have said, "You need therapy." |
IanDB1 |
Feb-22-07 10:28 AM |
#16 |
| -
I think maybe you're being too harsh on yourself. |
Zenlitened |
Feb-22-07 10:35 AM |
#17 |
| -
Thanks for the input ladies. |
SIMPLYB1980 |
Feb-22-07 11:44 AM |
#24 |
| -
your expectations exceeded the situation you were in |
SemperEadem |
Feb-22-07 03:26 PM |
#33 |
| -
you put your heart on the line with a first date?? |
wildhorses |
Feb-22-07 03:31 PM |
#34 |
| -
someone can't be ugly and nice? |
liontamer |
Feb-22-07 03:40 PM |
#35 |
| -
let me reframe it for you |
idgiehkt |
Feb-22-07 03:40 PM |
#36 |
| -
That's a great post. |
Radical Activist |
Feb-22-07 06:31 PM |
#64 |
| -
Sometimes it is just as simple as "chemistry" |
Zookeeper |
Feb-22-07 03:41 PM |
#37 |
| -
Nice: from old middle english meaning "foolish, stupid, ignorant". Throw this word out. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-22-07 03:42 PM |
#38 |
| -
Geezaloo... |
redqueen |
Feb-22-07 03:53 PM |
#43 |
| -
Oh, I realize people aren't thinking of it in terms of the old meaning. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-22-07 03:59 PM |
#46 |
| -
I like it cause it covers a lot of ground quckly. |
redqueen |
Feb-22-07 05:13 PM |
#51 |
| -
I would say it's used primarily |
SemperEadem |
Feb-22-07 06:21 PM |
#60 |
| -
No, it's used primarily by lazy, imprecise people who don't want to be bothered. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-22-07 09:44 PM |
#76 |
| -
I find it stunning... |
VelmaD |
Feb-23-07 09:34 AM |
#104 |
| -
Rabrrrrrr, you are so nice. I just LURVE you. |
Midlodemocrat |
Feb-23-07 10:42 AM |
#113 |
| -
I wuv you, too wuvvy scwumpy buttons! |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-23-07 10:48 AM |
#114 |
| -
Schmoopie. |
Midlodemocrat |
Feb-23-07 10:53 AM |
#116 |
| -
I agree with Rabrrrrrr 100%, totally and completely on this. I never thought this day would come! |
mainegreen |
Feb-22-07 04:04 PM |
#49 |
| -
I'm with Rabrrrrrr on this one. |
Chan790 |
Feb-22-07 08:01 PM |
#68 |
| -
When did you suddenly sprout that attitude? |
lwfern |
Feb-23-07 02:44 PM |
#155 |
| -
OMG! You caught me being inconsistent and imperfect. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-23-07 11:37 PM |
#172 |
| -
Took most of a day - didn't even have time to pee. |
lwfern |
Feb-23-07 11:55 PM |
#174 |
| -
That's nice |
IAmJacksSmirkingRevenge |
Feb-23-07 04:38 PM |
#161 |
| -
Your feelings... |
Madspirit |
Feb-22-07 03:44 PM |
#39 |
| -
The wisest words yet, I suspect. A lot of things sensitive young people |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 06:18 PM |
#166 |
| -
There are too many blank spaces in this story |
Ptah |
Feb-22-07 03:45 PM |
#40 |
| -
You missed an apostrophe |
ForrestGump |
Feb-22-07 03:52 PM |
#42 |
| -
wow... what an interesting use of time. |
SemperEadem |
Feb-22-07 06:22 PM |
#61 |
| -
To each our own. |
Ptah |
Feb-22-07 06:30 PM |
#63 |
| -
Avoiding controversial topics |
Patiod |
Feb-23-07 08:37 AM |
#94 |
| -
As St Augustine of Hippo put it, "Love God and do what you like"! |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 06:21 PM |
#167 |
| -
What if "nice" is the truth? |
redqueen |
Feb-22-07 03:56 PM |
#44 |
| -
Have told the truth |
Whoa_Nelly |
Feb-22-07 03:56 PM |
#45 |
| -
I had a similar experience. Dated a guy and told him, |
raccoon |
Feb-23-07 09:07 AM |
#100 |
| -
What's wrong with being called nice? |
Nicole |
Feb-22-07 04:11 PM |
#50 |
| -
Several girlfriends were talking and someon said something like: 'I bet none |
Maraya1969 |
Feb-22-07 05:24 PM |
#52 |
| -
But all women aren't alike |
treestar |
Feb-22-07 05:29 PM |
#53 |
| -
the old "you're a nice guy...but..." I sympathize. |
WI_DEM |
Feb-22-07 05:31 PM |
#54 |
| -
There are some lines |
Radical Activist |
Feb-22-07 05:57 PM |
#57 |
| -
If a woman told a guy he was ugly, boring, offensive, etc., a lot |
raccoon |
Feb-23-07 09:12 AM |
#101 |
| -
Yep. She'd be called a bitch, a c - - t, and any other name |
Bunny |
Feb-23-07 10:01 AM |
#109 |
| -
Yeah, |
Radical Activist |
Feb-23-07 10:03 AM |
#110 |
| -
Maybe she thought you were nice. |
Katherine Brengle |
Feb-22-07 06:07 PM |
#58 |
| -
Are You A Nice Guy? |
Southpawkicker |
Feb-22-07 06:07 PM |
#59 |
| -
i'm not sure i really wanna know what's wrong with me. |
KG |
Feb-22-07 07:01 PM |
#65 |
| -
You're putting your heart on the line on the first date? |
MrSlayer |
Feb-22-07 07:04 PM |
#66 |
| -
... |
Starbucks Anarchist |
Feb-22-07 08:24 PM |
#71 |
| -
You would really prefer a woman to tell you that you were ugly? |
sjbech |
Feb-22-07 08:29 PM |
#72 |
| -
It's a fact |
XemaSab |
Feb-24-07 12:45 AM |
#176 |
| -
Hey, you know what? |
Dangerously Amused |
Feb-22-07 08:32 PM |
#73 |
| -
There've been some very interesting insights thrown about in this thread, |
ForrestGump |
Feb-22-07 08:52 PM |
#74 |
| -
I both hate it, and like it when |
jasonc |
Feb-23-07 11:35 AM |
#127 |
| -
Nice. |
smirkymonkey |
Feb-25-07 08:07 PM |
#189 |
| -
Trust me, man, sometimes a euphamism/half-truth is best. |
BlueIris |
Feb-22-07 08:53 PM |
#75 |
| -
She might not even know herself |
XemaSab |
Feb-24-07 12:47 AM |
#177 |
| -
ewwwww. eww eww eww. The deconstruction. |
lwfern |
Feb-23-07 12:47 AM |
#77 |
| -
BRAVA! *thunderous applause* |
UncleSepp |
Feb-23-07 04:45 AM |
#82 |
| -
"Tell me what I need to do to get laid" |
lwfern |
Feb-23-07 09:46 AM |
#107 |
| -
I used to think men had it hard |
pokerfan |
Feb-23-07 05:57 AM |
#83 |
| -
that's 'je ne sais quoi" |
SemperEadem |
Feb-23-07 03:15 PM |
#156 |
| -
endless apologies! |
pokerfan |
Feb-23-07 04:32 PM |
#160 |
| -
Oh, no. If other things are right, being pursued is brilliant, as far as |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 06:33 PM |
#168 |
| -
You are absolutely correct on every point! |
PelosiFan |
Feb-23-07 08:35 AM |
#93 |
| -
Bravo. Well said. |
smirkymonkey |
Feb-25-07 08:04 PM |
#188 |
| -
You would rather she called you |
u4ic |
Feb-23-07 12:59 AM |
#78 |
| -
It sounds like you two just weren't compatible |
Pushed To The Left |
Feb-23-07 01:15 AM |
#79 |
| -
Hey there! |
XemaSab |
Feb-24-07 12:55 AM |
#178 |
| -
Hi Xemasab! |
Pushed To The Left |
Feb-24-07 04:35 PM |
#180 |
| -
Well yeah |
XemaSab |
Feb-25-07 01:52 AM |
#183 |
| -
Sometimes the most attractive thing about a man |
hickman |
Feb-23-07 01:44 AM |
#80 |
| -
It takes two, dude |
pokerfan |
Feb-23-07 02:50 AM |
#81 |
| -
Very funny post. And to the point. |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 06:38 PM |
#169 |
| -
Boy do I know where you're coming from. |
Bassic |
Feb-23-07 07:02 AM |
#84 |
| -
why are you encouraging women to be rude and obnoxious? |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 07:23 AM |
#87 |
| -
well according to post #76... |
VelmaD |
Feb-23-07 09:39 AM |
#106 |
| -
No. Read #76 more carefully. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-23-07 11:04 AM |
#119 |
| -
I think you're missing my point |
VelmaD |
Feb-23-07 11:09 AM |
#121 |
| -
Interesting that "nice" is forbidden, yet "bitch" is A-ok. |
smirkymonkey |
Feb-25-07 08:13 PM |
#190 |
| -
"Men tend to rally around and support one another that way in times of need." |
lukasahero |
Feb-23-07 11:09 AM |
#122 |
| -
i remember a thread i created here that got a huge uproar |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 11:46 AM |
#129 |
| -
Modesty is not something you suffer from, is it? |
Bunny |
Feb-23-07 11:53 AM |
#131 |
| -
proving my point that no matter what you say someone will call you a bitch |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 11:58 AM |
#133 |
| -
Pardon me dear but I did NOT call you a bitch - I do not do that. Ever. |
Bunny |
Feb-23-07 12:05 PM |
#135 |
| -
actually this is what i said |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 12:08 PM |
#138 |
| -
That may have been what you said in that other thread, I did not read that one. |
Bunny |
Feb-23-07 12:15 PM |
#140 |
| -
i was replying to velma saying that an uproar can be caused if you are honest |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 12:16 PM |
#141 |
| -
Oh I think you do care, or you wouldn't be responding. |
Bunny |
Feb-23-07 12:35 PM |
#146 |
| -
yup i am conceited and lacking in modesty. |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 12:39 PM |
#148 |
| -
My happiness, or lack thereof, is of no consequence to this discussion. |
Bunny |
Feb-23-07 12:41 PM |
#149 |
| -
That's some statement. |
Karenca |
Feb-23-07 12:22 PM |
#142 |
| -
thats not exactly what i said. |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 12:25 PM |
#144 |
| -
Did you read "Self-Made Man'? |
Karenca |
Feb-23-07 12:33 PM |
#145 |
| -
i was a both a psychology and a sociology major so i am aware of the reasons why |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 12:38 PM |
#147 |
| -
.. or a lesbian. |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-23-07 06:38 PM |
#170 |
| -
Patience, grasshopper |
NewJeffCT |
Feb-23-07 08:13 AM |
#88 |
| -
"I love the ladies" !! |
PelosiFan |
Feb-23-07 08:30 AM |
#92 |
| -
Ooooo! A lady! |
Blue-Jay |
Feb-23-07 08:43 AM |
#95 |
| -
... |
PelosiFan |
Feb-23-07 08:54 AM |
#98 |
| -
It's not all about you. |
Gormy Cuss |
Feb-23-07 09:34 AM |
#103 |
| -
My 2 cents |
Connonym |
Feb-23-07 09:38 AM |
#105 |
| -
I always got "you're a nice guy, but..." for the same reason... |
Zavulon |
Feb-23-07 09:51 AM |
#108 |
| -
You Know, That's a Great Point |
Crisco |
Feb-23-07 10:59 AM |
#118 |
| -
My father always said |
Zavulon |
Feb-23-07 12:08 PM |
#137 |
| -
well this falls into the pattern of old stereotypes ..... |
kwassa |
Feb-23-07 01:05 PM |
#151 |
| -
No doubt. |
Zavulon |
Feb-23-07 02:00 PM |
#153 |
| -
"Stereotypes are never 100% accurate"? |
lukasahero |
Feb-23-07 02:10 PM |
#154 |
| -
We're all the products of our experiences, and |
Zavulon |
Feb-23-07 03:44 PM |
#158 |
| -
We Are in the Age of Niche Marketing |
Crisco |
Feb-23-07 04:11 PM |
#159 |
| -
You've hit upon the patronizing aspect of "nice" - thanks! |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-23-07 11:07 AM |
#120 |
| -
www.dictionary.com |
lukasahero |
Feb-23-07 11:16 AM |
#123 |
| -
I wish I could recommend just this post |
VelmaD |
Feb-23-07 11:18 AM |
#124 |
| -
And yet |
Radical Activist |
Feb-23-07 11:23 AM |
#125 |
| -
Or perhaps you are only perceiving it to mean that |
lukasahero |
Feb-23-07 11:42 AM |
#128 |
| -
As it is with all words |
Radical Activist |
Feb-23-07 12:08 PM |
#136 |
| -
I'd recommend it as well. |
lwfern |
Feb-23-07 11:29 AM |
#126 |
| -
It's still a lazy, empty word. Just as lazy as using "bitch" is. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-23-07 12:24 PM |
#143 |
| -
Well, perhaps not children. |
Zavulon |
Feb-23-07 12:09 PM |
#139 |
| -
What word(s) would you suggest? Never mind, you answered below. nt |
raccoon |
Feb-24-07 11:18 AM |
#179 |
| -
You Are Waaaayyyy Over-Analyzing Things |
Yavin4 |
Feb-23-07 10:18 AM |
#111 |
| -
That's what I was thinking, and this is a quite an involved discussion. |
marzipanni |
Feb-25-07 03:33 AM |
#184 |
| -
"I do expect honesty after I put my heart on the line" - On Your First Date? |
Crisco |
Feb-23-07 10:32 AM |
#112 |
| -
You went on one date |
skygazer |
Feb-23-07 10:56 AM |
#117 |
| -
agreed. |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-23-07 11:49 AM |
#130 |
| -
I have to reply to this |
jasonc |
Feb-23-07 11:56 AM |
#132 |
| -
Work on the expunging the idea from your head that you have work to do |
Strawman |
Feb-23-07 01:03 PM |
#150 |
| -
Just sounds like you did not click. |
Fran Kubelik |
Feb-23-07 03:20 PM |
#157 |
| -
Conversations. :) |
lwfern |
Feb-23-07 04:59 PM |
#162 |
| -
Nice says it all |
gravity |
Feb-23-07 05:20 PM |
#163 |
| -
Bro...you need to check out "No More Mr. Nice Guy" - I don't think |
bullwinkle428 |
Feb-23-07 11:27 PM |
#171 |
| -
Interesting |
XemaSab |
Feb-23-07 11:42 PM |
#173 |
| -
On further reflection, I think the blandishments I and others expressed |
KCabotDullesMarxIII |
Feb-24-07 04:54 PM |
#181 |
| -
Simplyb1980, a few words. |
outofbounds |
Feb-25-07 08:14 AM |
#185 |
| -
Stop caring so much about being polite/nice/whatever |
newsdude |
Feb-25-07 09:43 PM |
#191 |
| -
This thread is still going? |
GirlinContempt |
Feb-25-07 09:44 PM |
#192 |
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