Reply #93: That is certainly not what I'm saying.

[GirlinContempt]

If I was refusing to be polite, my reply would have been "fuck you" :P If that's really what you're reading, that I refuse to be polite, I don't know what to say.

I don't consider it arming any 'side' for war. I don't usually find snarkyness or insults to be a tactic of 'war' because, personally, I assume that when dealing with people, these things happen. It doesn't have to be war, it's reality. As I stated, I think people should try to be courteous to one another, but I also recognize that it just isn't always going to happen. Especially on a fairly anonymous message board on the internet with a huge diversity of individuals. Using the tools available means not 'arming for war' but learning to cope with the people you don't get along with, or who're rude. Because that's something people deal with both off an on the internet.

That IS the way the world is, and sometimes it's worse, sometimes it's better. I've seen you be snarky or less than polite to people, and I don't blame you for it. It happens, we're humans, we don't always like each other, we get upset, whatever it is that makes us react that way, nearly ALL of us do it. Trying to limit or cope with that behavior in yourself is commendable, and hoping to help adjust the way people relate to each other as a whole is also commendable. I don't think that expecting people to relate to each other (in a forum devoted to hot button issues and topics people feel passionately about) with nothing but polite consideration to be realistic.

I suppose to a certain extent I am saying 'deal with it', because that's what most people have to do. And I don't know how much understanding can emerge, or how much change can be effected, if blinders are put on. Some people think that a disagreement is an attack. Some people think that saying "fuck you, asshole" is perfectly reasonable in debate. Where do we draw lines and address these things if there is no understanding and coping with what already exists?

(Most of my use of 'you' 'yourself' etc are generalized)