Reply #36: I was sent for a week during the summer to my grandparents

[KurtNYC]

a couple of different years. What I learned in hindsight was that my grandmother was generous and self-less. Really got her joy through others. I loved her home made noodles and felt guilty later in life when I figured out how hard they are to make and how often I has asked her to cook them for me. But she loved doing it.

My grandfather was more of a mixed bag. He had quite a bit to say about minorities, hippies, etc. And I had reconcile that with his more joyful nature. To see him interact with some the groups he had been talking about -- it was hard to put those 2 together. In hindsight I think it was mostly talk. He liked a good argument and he had 9 mostly liberal kids during the Vietnam war so he got plenty of arguments. He would say certain things around his house just to get an argument going with his kids. And I see that in a lot of conservative types. They are either trying to get themself worked up or they just want to get you pissed off (but their sincerity and what they really believe fact wise is harder to pin down).

I think kids really are like dogs in that they have an ability to see what is in your heart no matter what is coming out of your mouth. It sounds at least possible that your mother is occassionally trying to get your goat. The way your son sees her may be more based on her generosity with him. War, real war, is an abstract concept for most adults. For children it might as well be the land of dragons and fairies. Even if she could teach him to love (which I doubt) "war" it wouldn't be the love of really killing people or really loving hauling your friends back to the medic, etc.