Reply #138: Well, what should she have "done about the problem"?

[friesianrider]

Should she have gone up to the mother and asked to speak with her privately?

I don't really think she "freaked out" she had a natural reaction to seeing an obese person - and the same reaction I suspect most of the people on here would have too. Of course I have reactions to people outside of the norm. Do I think they're weird or strange or not as good as me? Of course not. But I would be lying if I said I didn't notice a person was morbidly obese and wonder what is going on in their life, or notice a transvestite, or couple making out in public or whatever. It's just observation.

"why is it acceptable to make overweight people feel like shit with demeaning assumptions yet unacceptable to take a stand against such prejudicial thinking?"

I think you're absolutely right in taking a stand against prejudicial standing - you're absolutely, 100% right and I certainly don't think it's "unacceptable" to say making automatic assumptions is wrong. I guess I just noticed the OP was sort of new and I know for a fact that she felt sort of ganged up on and made to feel like she's some kind of bad person for reacting the way she did - a way that I think is pretty natural for most people. We see a morbidly obese person and think "my God, what is wrong with them? Are they sick? Are they just not eating well?" Add to that when there's two morbidly obese children, and I think it's natural for strangers to worry about the health of the kids, and if their condition is not a true medical one, but one of just poor diet or whatever. Certainly is it wrong to assume it is just poor diet, but I just thought some of the comments condemning her reactions were a little rude, that's all (not necessarily yours or anything, just some people's were).

Anyway, I do completely agree with you that it is wrong to make assumptions about people based on appearance. But I can guarantee that at some point in all our lives, we've all done it. I just didn't want the OP to feel like she was being ganged up on or being put down for something we have *all* done at one point in our lives or another.