Reply #9: Have you spoken to him in a way

[Spinzonner]

that just listens to his grievances and acknowledging them and trying to understand them ?

Acknowedging doesnt mean agreeing with them or taking a side, it does involve trying to understand his point of view an how he might have come to it.

It does also mean NOT trying to change his mind - at least at that point - or tell him that and how he's wrong. That will only likely cause him to see you - as he apparently does already - and being on the 'other side'.

Accept their stubbornness - for now - and just listen without trying to change anyone's mind or bridge the gap. You need to understand the points of view and how they were arrived at before you can fairly represent one party to the other and overcome the separation. Don't take sides no matter what you think objectively because relationships are as much or more subjective and objective.