An Army Recruiter just came to my door looking for *ME*

[Heddi]

See, I had, uh, signed up online a few months ago for the free t-shirt or boonie hat or watch---lied about my age heh. Got the watch--cheap peice of shit made in China---has already lost 45 minutes in the last month, and I can't get the alarm to turn off, so every hour (well, that hour gets longer and longer with each passing week) it beeps.

So I'm sitting here, reading a DU thread when the doorbell rings. I don't know anyone, and couldn't figure out who it could be.

Go to the door and there's a moustached Army fellow outside, wearing full regalia--beret and all. I have to admit he looked pretty smart and spiffy, but my face is WAY too round to pull off wearing a beret.

He asks for "Nicole" (my middle name). Says "I'm her". He asks if I signed up for recruiting info. I said 'Uh no, my mom did. She wants me to get in the service" (lie LIE LIE). Said "Sorry, I'm in nursing school and can't take the time off to go to Iraq" He said they've got plenty of need for Army Nurses when I'm done. He had opened the screen door and was acting like he wanted to come inside. No can do, fellow. I'm here alone, a female, and NO idea where the bullets to the gun are (we hid them when we went on vacation.) Plus, he looked pretty buff and could probably chase me down as I went looking through the closet for said bullets.

I don't like being in compromising situations.

He stood there after he told me about the need for nurses for like what seemed like forever, not saying anything, looking inside the house....hope my bong was hidden....Said "Sorry you had to come out here' and he said "Well I was in the neighborhood"

As he left, he eyed the "War is never the answer" and SEND THEM HOME NOW stickers on my car, plus the WAR=Terrorism sticker on our window.

I know when he was eyeing my pad he HAD to have seen the poster from the recent Seattle stage-production of 1984, which has GW's face right there, hovering above 1984.

It was funny.

For a minute, I was really scared---being a nursing student, I know I'd be among the first to be drafted if there were a draft. I thought I was being conscripted. Luckily I wasn't....and sadly, all I got out of it was a shitty watch that can't keep good time and has a crooked face and an itchy strap.