Reply #3: I'm very sorry that you are going through this.

[yardwork]

That man is abusive to you and your family - which you already know.

I think that your panic attack and your feelings are a natural reaction to the abusive environment in which you live, and your feelings of helplessness as you watch this man bully other people you love.

I don't have any advice but I will share my own experience and perhaps it will give you some ideas. I grew up in an alcoholic family with emotional and verbal abuse. I have been a member of a 12-step program for a number of years, and in that group I have learned the concept of "turning things over" to a higher power. I have learned to take care of the things I can do something about, and set aside the worries about things over which I am powerless. I also am in therapy.

My observation is that you are in a position to move out of this abusive household soon, and I hope that works out for you. It sounds like a very rational choice to get out of there.

My observation is also that you can't do much to help your mom until she decides to help herself. Worrying about her doesn't help the situation.

Perhaps if you get out and build an independent life for yourself your mother will learn from your example, and one day have the courage to get out too.

I wish you the best of luck!