Reply #42: Hey! NOT True!!

[Unperson 309]

ADD and aDHD may be "overdiagnosed" today, but the DO exist!

I was a "good" child, I wanted to please, I was MOTIVATED to "be good" to sit still, to listen, to want to be like my elders. I tried to be a good student. I remember my childhood and I *desperately* envied the kids who got good grades. My own grades were D's and F's.

My parents took me to a child psychologist. He did testing. I was *convinced* I was mentally retarded. The IQ test came back 168! Clearly I wasn't "working up to my potential"!

I TRIED to pay attention in class! I even tried sticking sewing needles into my fingers so as NOT to be *distracted* in cvlass. I spent HOURS at night doing homework... or trying to! My mind was like a greased ferret. I could NOT stay focused! I tried everything I could think of and failed and failed and failed!

For DECADES I was absolutely convinced it was MY fAULT for being lazy, stupid, mentally ill, insane, every vile accusation I could think of levelled at myself BY myself! Oh, the teachers didn't have to upbraid me, I did well enough on myself!

I went through school in the 1950'sd and 1960's when there WAS no such thing as ADD. No medication, no help, nothing but the accusations!

Well guess what? It was NOT a failure of will! I had enough will to fuel a fucking FOOTBALL TEAM and it got me NOWHERE! It was (and still is) a brain dysfunction! I cannot get back the childhood where I slammed my head into a door because I was angry at myself. I cannot go back and pull the needles out of my fingertips or erase the scars on my arms left from my fingernails or the point of my compass... but I CAN... finally... FORGIVE my self destructive anger! Because IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!

You, the neurologically normal, are doing the SAME FUCKING tHING as the wealthy "let them eat cake" neocons who never had a hungry day in their LIVES when dealing with the poor!

Do a little research!

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