And now...intimate musings

[ForrestGump]

Chastity... the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.
-- Aldous Huxley

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
-- Jane Austen

Well, to start with, there's that whole multiple thing.

Give me chastity and continence -- but not yet.
-- Saint Augustine

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin

My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.
-- Les Dawson

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
-- Woody Allen

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
-- Bernard Manning

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
-- Groucho Marx

It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.
-- Winston Churchill

]A nymphomaniac is a woman as obsessed with sex as the average man.
-- Mignon McLaughlin

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
-- Woody Allen

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
-- George Burns

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.
-- Woody Allen

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
-- Steve Martin

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
-- Brendan Francis

Let's forget about the six feet and talk about the seven inches.
-- Mae West, on being told that a new male acquaintance was 6'7"

Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
-- Woody Allen

Outside of every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.
-- Katherine Whitehorn

I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.
-- Jean Harlow

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, / Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
-- William Shakespeare

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
-- George Carlin

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "no."
-- Woody Allen

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
-- J. Edgar Hoover

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful -- provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
-- Woody Allen

Love is the answer; but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
-- George Burns

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
-- Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
-- Groucho Marx