Reply #24: My JHS and HS were about 40% black 40% white and 20% Hispanic

[Lisa0825]

I hadn't really known any black people before then. My dad was in the Coast Guard, and at that time, the CG was mostly white. We lived in CG housing, and our schools were practically 100% kids from the bases. I lived in Hawaii from 1st through 4th grades, and we had Polynesian and Asian students, but I don't remember any other ethnic group strongly represented (my parents didn't seem to differentiate between us and them). However, my best friend there was mixed race black and white. Her father was black, but he was long gone. He'd abused her and her mother, and he was the only black man she had ever known, so she had nightmares about becoming more black, since she only had learned to associate it with the bad things in her life.

Anyway... from Hawaii, we moved to the Gulf Coast of Texas, and I entered into the 40/40/20 school. I didn't have any notions about race, since I didn't know any black people, and only really barely understood the things my friend had talked about. So I really had no clue that race relations were problematic, until one day I heard someone, who I had thought was a friend, telling her friends, "Man, I really hate white people!" I had walked around the corner right as she said that, and the whole group of about 6 girls had turned to look at me as I walked by. I actually felt faint. I didn't understand at all. All I knew is someone hated me for no reason. My eyes welled up and I kept walking. I don't think she and I ever talked again. I'm not sure if it was me avoiding her, or her avoiding me, or both. But that memory has always stayed with me.

My parents were not overtly racist. they would not intentionally hurt people. But they thought nothing of telling racist jokes, and had a lot of flawed ideas. Meanwhile, I was questioning things, and trying to find my way. Eventually, this would lead to numerous arguments due to my demand that my parents not use derogatory racial terms in my presence. Over several years, I learned things about race.... I think perhaps I was at an advantage, being clueless to start out at that age, since by the time race was ever really mentioned at my home, I was at the age where I was starting to assert my independence anyway.

Eventually, my mom finally came around. My brother married a wonderful black woman, and I was really proud of my mom for growing to love her daughter in law so quickly. I felt that my mom learned her most important lesson in her last year of life.