Another tale of road rage and sweet, sweet revenge

[TXlib]

I'm driving to work, and there's a bigass SUV, an Expedition, in front of me. It is festooned with RW stickers -- "We support our president and our troops", "God Bless America", "I'm pro-life, and I vote", "Bush/Cheney '04", "Got Christ?", and a Jesus fish. It is also driving very erratically and aggressively, cutting people off with inches to spare without signalling, tailgating, not keeping a constant speed, and weaving.

At a traffic light, I got into the left lane; the SUV was in the right. I found myself next to the SUV, and looked over at the driver. She was on her cell phone, of course!

She glanced over at me, and as she did so, I gestured, pantomiming putting a phone down, and then pointing at my eyes, and pointing at the road ahead. She returned a few gestures of her own, not befitting the Jesus fish on the back of her SUV, and was apparently screaming at me, but through two rolled-up windows, I couldn't hear.

When the light turned green, she tried to run me off the road, into oncoming traffic! That's right! She veered her vehicle to the left, into mine, trying to squeeze me to the left. I gunned my engine and got ahead. She got behind me, and tailgated very close, and lay on her horn, flashing her headlights.

Too bad for her she didn't notice the cop car that had been two cars behind us. But he noticed her, and was suddenly behind her, lights flashing. Her rage at me suddenly turned to shock and fear.

She got into the right lane, preparing to pull over. As she did so, I slowed down, so she came up alongside me. As she glanced at me again, I pantomimed laughing my ass off at her.

The contorted mask of pure fury her face became was priceless, and just too funny. I now have a nice, warm tingly feeling, and I can tell the rest of the day is going to be GREAT!