Reply #23: I can only speak from my own experience on this...

[Adsos Letter]

...(Some of this is going to sound all new-agey, touchy-feely; forgive me, it has merit here)

First off, you have accomplished quite a bit, academically. Realize that...internalize that...I don'e even know you and I can understand that much. Do you need to take the Bar exam? Alright; study for it...but don't forget that you have already accomplished a lot. That counts for something, no matter what anyone else thinks (even you).

Can you guys sit down in a way that allows you to safely express your feelings on the issues involved? This is important! Yes, not having a job is an issue, but there are bigger, more important issues at work here...

If you can't talk through it between yourselves in any way that is productive, then see a counselor. A good counselor will not take either side but will simply act as an arbiter, keeping the conversation constructive, and making objective observations. A good counselor can create a safe place for the necessary interactions.

The employment issue is an important one, I don't mean to downplay it...but this really seems like a communication problem, and there is always hope when that is the case.

If you happen to live in the Napa area I know some great counselors...if not, ask around your area. These issues are more common than you may realize, and all strong marriages tend to become that way by being willing (both parties) to work through hard issues. You might feel pretty alone right now, but plenty of us have been in situations which seemed just as hopeless.