Reply #41: My husband and I grappled with this particular issue.

[NewWaveChick1981]

I decided in my 20s that I didn't want children. I like them, but I really did not want the responsibility. My husband has wavered on and off about having them. Sometimes he would talk about how much he really wanted kids, and sometimes he would talk about how much he didn't like them. :shrug: We got married when I was 29 and he was 31 after a long courtship. I'm 43 going on 44 now, and my husband is 46. I have never changed my mind about having children but I considered them for a while because of my husband. He still talks about having them, but at this point, he'd be retired when the child would be starting college. There is no way I would have a child at this point in my life.

The one time I have ever actually been pregnant was actually a test of my feelings towards having children. I got pregnant when our birth control method failed in 1999. We talked things over a LOT, and we made a mutual decision to terminate the pregnancy. I have never been sad or disappointed that I never went through with it---I was relieved and have never looked back. However, I know my husband has had second thoughts. It's not going to happen, though.

I was totally honest with myself and would make the same decision if I were faced with that choice again.