Reply #65: Thank you for sharing your story

[derby378]

Here's the view from where I sit:

If I ever experienced abuse from my parents, it was strictly of the mental/emotional kind, and it was very rare - children do have a tendency to test their parents to the limit, and I'm sure I've done it a few times, myself. But part of my own strife with my folks stemmed from when our family embraced fundamentalist religion - when your parents try to stifle the search for answers with demands for blind obedience to artificial dogma, something's got to give.

On the other hand, although I did get spanked once in a while (including with a belt), my mother and father gave me an otherwise good home, stayed on me to keep my grades up in school, rejoiced in my achievements and consoled me in my times of sadness or personal disappointment. Sure, we've had words, but we have a great relationship. And even though my father and I were distanced from each other for a while, I feel we've gotten closer over time.

Having read your experiences, my heart aches for what you went through. I'm glad that you're recovering, and I wish you the best in the future.

Granted, without actually experiencing what you did to your children, it sounds like your level of abuse is NOT what I had in mind when I talked about locking abusers in jail. I've heard too many stories of children being beaten with appliances and furniture, struck with closed fists, or scarred for life by being pressed against hot stove burners. That is the abuse I alluded to earlier, and as far as I'm concerned, too many parents still get off scot free with this sort of activity. And I stand firm with my conviction that these abusers should be locked away - as opposed to you, who never inflicted any long-lasting injury on your children and who was tormented by inner demons of your own. The key here is that these other parents are largely content to remain in their own cycle of dysfunction and abuse. You, on the other hand, were not. You got out.

Some lyrics from a Marilyn Manson song have just forced themselves into my head: "I want to love, I want to live, but it's a long hard road out of Hell." Maybe this is of some relevance to your own ordeal and your own journey away from abuse; I can't say for sure either way. But I am certainly glad you didn't kill yourself. If you snuff out a single candle in a roomful of candles, doesn't the room still get a little darker anyway? Death has a way of doing that. And it's obvious from what you told me that you would have been dearly missed by those who were closest to your heart.

Again, thank you. Keep your feet upon the path to peace, and have a happy New Year if I don't bump into you again before the clock strikes midnight.

:hug: