Reply #177: You shouldn't be ashamed

[Pithlet]

But my experiences living in the South don't match what you say. I've spent about equal time in both the north and the south, and have witnessed racism in both places, but it is more ingrained in the South, and more open. Yes, the south has made some progress, but everything isn't hunky dory as you seem to be implying. Never have I witnessed racism to the extent that I have in the South anywhere else in the country. They have made progress, but they still have a ways to go.

There are indeed many wonderful things in the south, and if I were to move today, as I fervently wish I could, there would be a lot of things I would miss. I've met a lot of wonderful people here. So much has come from the south that is invaluable to our culture. But, there are also bad things about the south, and to ignore it is folly. And I do not believe that acknowledging that is bashing the south. Assuming that someone from the south is a racist redneck is prejudice. Discussing the real issues of the south and the problems that do indeed still exist is not. And to pretend that everything is okay will only hurt the south. No further progress can be made if everyone pretends that no more progress is needed.

Race relations isn't the only problem in the south, as others have pointed out. My own personal experiences have been bad because I'm an atheist, and that has never been such an issue in my life as when I live in the south. The fact that I don't go to church is held against me here as it never was in any state north of the Mason Dixon. And that is a problem. I plan on moving before my children are of school age because I truly fear for my kids and what they'll face because they aren't Christian. I'm always asked what Church I go to, which leads to uncomfortable situations. I don't think that's a polite thing to ask a stranger, let alone to just assume someone is a Christian, but that is a common occurrence here. My own boss would always mention that someone at work was a good man/woman of God. It made me wonder what she thought of me as I've never mentioned a thing about my own religious beliefs or lack of./

I don't hate southerners, or southern culture. I hate the racism and prejudice that is still far too common here. There have been comments about how back stabbing and aloof northerners are from some southerner es in this thread (kind of ironic, I think) but my experiences, again, just don't bear that out. I recently took a trip to Chicago and people were just as friendly and open there. Walking through my in-laws neighborhood, people were out on their front lawns and every single one of them smiled and waved as I passed. And I don't even live there. No one even acknowledges me in my own neighborhood.

I'm glad your experiences have been wonderful, and I don't doubt them. Just know that that may not be the experience for everyone. And don't forget that while the south has come a long way and should be commended for that, that the fight isn't over. It isn't over anywhere in this country, and it certainly isn't in the south.