A New Alternative to the Theory of Evolution: Spiteful Design!

[Plaid Adder]

I was talking about the whole "intelligent design" thing with some friends of mine (if you haven't read the letter about the Flying Spaghtetti Monster, I urge you to do so; you can find it by Googling "his noodly appendage") and I came up with a theory I like much better than Intelligent Design: Spiteful Design!

Think about it--there are so many things about how the world works that are just so messed up it's unbelievable. Why should we assume that all of them have been engineered by some benevolent intelligent being? Wouldn't it make more sense to see things like earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, retroviruses for which there is no vaccine, disgusting and destructive internal parasites, and so on, as evidence of a creative force which is, well, in kind of a bitchy mood, and taking it out on us?

I demand that Spiteful Design be taught in Kansas classrooms along with Intelligent Design and its fellow 'alternative' scientific theories, such as Idiotic Design, Absurdist Design, Totally Fucking Incompetent Design, Holy Shit What Was I Drinking Last Night Design, and other similar theories. After all, intelligent design is just a theory, and no more or less scientifically proven than the Sweated Out Of The Frost Giant's Armpit Theory, the Sneezed Into The Great Cosmic Handkerchief Theory, and many others.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder