ALERT! Tinfoil Hat Theory: Why Arnie is running.

[CaptainMidnight]

Obviously he's been planning this for a while.

There's an excellent analysis over at Buzzflash as to the extent of the White House's fingerprints being all over this. I believe it. But that's not my "conspiracy theory."

Thusly, it leaves me wondering WHY? We know the recall's about getting a Repub Gov. in office in order to make California easier to steal, or make the 2004 Election at least close ENOUGH to steal our precious Electoral votes. We know it has nothing to do with Gray Davis being crummy, really.

I'm wondering: does ARNOLD KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T?

Or more correctly,

DOES KARL ROVE HAVE SOMETHING UP HIS SLEEVE?

ROVE & CO, the Bush Cabal, these people have been masterful at pulling stuff off when you didnt' see it coming. Every goddamned time in W Bush's charmed political and business life, something always comes along that other people didnt' see or possibly guess at, which completely reverses Georgies' fortunes, literally and figuratively. Rove is so smart, so shrewd, yet he picked ARNOLD, with all his negatives. WHY?

I mean, look at his whopping zipper problem, his shady biz deals, his not being "conservative enough" for the Right, his goofy GERMAN accent, etc. He's got liberals on the left bashing him, and Cons on the right like Rush Limbaugh bashing him too. Remember last year when he seemed to be testing that trial wind sock, only to have it taken down as Salon, Premiere, and other publications poured forth with several salient stories about Arnold the Groper?

Suddenly, Arnold withdrew his sock, and everyone said that that killed any potential for his campaign.

And now he's back. And already being bashed by both sides. He can't possibly win, right? So why now? What is DIFFERENT this time?

I think Rove's got something particularly nasty up his sleeve this time that will change Arnold's fortunes dramatically. I mean, he's about to subject himself and Maria to more salient stories about what he calls "getting my helmet polished." This could be humiliating to him, even before he loses. But what if he "knew" the fix was in? I mean, yes, go ahead, fire away, but perhaps Arnold or Rove knows that they've got something down the pike that'll blow all those blowjobs to kingdom cum. Sorry, but Arnold is a very, very, very smart man. I know this for a fact, personally.

Quick! Describe the one word adjectives or images that are conjured up when you think of the movie star that is Arnold Schwarzenegger?

STRONG

BOLD

BIG

ARMED

KICK-ASS

PROTECTIVE

LIKEABLE

I know, that last one may seem outta place, but look at Kindergarten Cop, and other films like T2, where Arnie became warm, humorous, and could laugh at himself. A big strong guy, a FATHER figure.

Sure, it's all IMAGE, but it's worked for him. Look at how some unlikely failed B-movie actor like Reagan became a herculean he-man who could protect us, unlike "wimps" like Carter He's going into this Governor's race with both sides lined up to, as Lee Atwater would say, "strip the bark off of him." He's Rove's choice. They got Issa to step down, either planned all along, or they dangled something else in front of him.

My tinfoil hat theory is this:

ROVE/BUSH/CHENEY ARE GOING TO INSTIGATE SOME MIHOP TERROR ATTACK, BIO ATTACK IN THE US, MAYBE CALIFORNIA, WHEREBY CALIFORNIANS WILL BE CLAMORING FOR A "STRONG" GOVERNOR TO PROTECT US! THEY CAN FINISH THE JOB ENRON STARTED, AND GET A REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR TO HAND THEM THE STATE IN 2004.

At a time of a statewide crisis, like a bio attack on L.A., or some other MIHOP incident, we Californians won't stand for a milquetoast who stands for nothing, like Gray Davis, not a woman, for sure, like Arianna, but a "strong leader," and Americans will have that subconscious memory of Arnold's Terminator and Conan roles, the will reassure us that we are being protected when we see our "strong" man, Arnold, as our governor. Look at how Minnesota elected that hulking creep, Ventura.

Look at 9-11. I personally subscribe to the MIHOP Theory, not LIHOP. You're telling me that they entrusted the carrying out of such an attack, the "New Pearl Harbor" as called for by PNAC and Zbigniev's book, upon which the New World Order will be launched, the Great Final Oil Grab, where Trillions upon Trillions of dollars are at stake, upon the abilities of 19 hijackers armed with boxcutters, and who failed flight school training???

Again, look at Bush's Presidency prior to 9-11. It was going nowhere fast. His poll numbers had just dipped down below 50. He was in the low 50's even before he went on his much-criticized "longest ever Presidential vacation." And yet he went anyway. Enron was about to explode. The Stock Market was about to crash. They were only 9 months into his Presidency, and already it was heading towards a "failed Presidency." Yet Bush & Co. knew something we didn't. Something that would come along and not only pull his feet outta the fire, but catapult him into the stratosphere of becoming Winston Churchill and Shane, combined. No one else saw that coming, right?

Arnold is Rove's VERY PUBLIC choice for Governor, and it would be a very PUBIC HUMILIATION for him if Arnold loses. These people simply don't lose. Losing is for losers. Has Bush really "lost" any real fight he's had while in office? Therefore, the fix is in somehow. Maybe it'll be something not so devastating, like via corrupted voting machines, or some horrific dirt they've got to unveil about Arianna.

Look at the Florida 2002 Election. They fixed that fucker literally Six Ways From Sunday. They disenfranchised black voters, they had Republican operatives go into election offices and "correct" only Republican absentee ballots that were missing either the full name or voter registration #, the butterfly ballot in Palm Beach, they positioned Bush's First Cousin, JOHN ELLIS, as the FOX News election anchorman that night who, with no proof, simply called the state, and thus the Election for W. They then had the Supreme Court, ready and waiting, to stop the whole legal recount, if they needed them to. They didn't rely on just one thing!

They want California's Electoral votes BAD! They'll figure out a way to get Arnold in as Governor, and after 9-11, I don't put anything past these bastards. They simply won't allow something as inconvenient as an honest eleciton to hold up their Master Plan. Has any "honest election" been allowed to stymie their agenda in the past?

2002?

2000?

1980's October Surprise?

Look at Bush's track record, and look at the way they've used Hollywood techniques like "Saving Private Lynch, " or the phony Todd Beamer "Let's Roll" story to manipulate the public.

My gut says they'll come up with something else that will have us not only voting for Arnold, but DEMANDING this big strong guy get into office to save our asses from some sorta EVIL!!!

Too tinfoil hat? Thoughts?

Captain Mike
(or okay, maybe it's just Arnold's fucking EGO, and he can't help himself!)