The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 371

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The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 371

August 24, 2009
Hate Mailbag Special

It's been a weird couple of weeks. The Democrats are falling all over themselves to come up with a good health care reform bill, with the unfortunate but predictable consequence that they're, er, falling all over themselves. Meanwhile the wingnuts have gone completely overboard, to the point where elected Republican officials have been egging on armed protesters at town hall meetings. And let's not forget the guy who recently identified himself as a "http://www.mtshastanews.com/news/x769902147/Congressman-Herger-calls-Obama-plan-threat-to-democracy">proud right-wing terrorist" to a cheering crowd, whereupon his Republican congressman said, "There is a great American." WTF?

Indeed, this may be the first time that there has been too much conservative idiocy to write about. I'm not kidding. So since we're coming to the end of silly season I thought it might be nice to have a change of pace this week and dig into the old Hate Mailbag.

The following are real emails sent to Democratic Underground over the past year, and they have not been edited in any way, although names and email addresses have been removed to protect the ignorant.

If you've never read the Hate Mailbag before, be aware that it does contain extreme language. You've been warned!


The Latest Hillary Rumor

From: Barry T---- <[email protected]>
Subject: Fwd: Hillary prostitute

Hillary Clinton uses prostitute in Tampa Florida for exhibit and lure into licentious battery.

DU RESPONDS: Dick Morris, is that you?


Darn Kids

From: Bodhi M------ <[email protected]>
Subject: So much foer free speech

Fuck you too ...would Jes guuys shut the fuck up alreadyQQ

DU RESPONDS: Somewhere in America, the mother of a 14-year-old boy is wondering why the once-full bottle of vodka in her liquor cabinet is now half empty.


The New Face Of Mainstream Conservatism, Part One

From: Clara M <[email protected]>
Subject: President Palin from Alaska.

the group is a bunch of loser, Palin, has the Drmrats scared and they make fun of her. obaba, michele wasted thousands on clothes for her ,kids an the half black half white husband of hers. so lay off. President Bush, saved your , theirs and o.bs a--, and he is the greatest president we have ever had. ob is a murder, he over turned President Bush right to live, shame on obanba, his wife and all of you, making fun about an earth quake. do you wish you mom and dad had a abortion and killed all you worthless people,. God is angry with all of you freaks. but i do pray for all of your souls, change before it is to late, God loves you but hate all of your ways. ob does not have the common sense to rule, and he probably is not a U,S.A citizen. he bought and cheated his way in our white house. thank you. and may you prat and God will forgive all of you. so sit down and shut up.. from millions of disgusted Americans, who did not vote for the racial mixed white and black man, he is no African American, if he was born in the U.S A he would simple be just a mixed American. get over it the south won you just thank you did, sick of you in Ga. and all over the U.S A

DU RESPONDS: You're in luck, I hear Fox News is hiring right now!


The New Face Of Mainstream Conservatism, Part Two

From: david c---------- <[email protected]>
Subject: (no subject)

You bunch of fucking losers ...... you seem to think ya a bunch of smart people .... guess what ... ya just violated the 1st amendment.

freedom of speech .... typical for a bunch of dumbass dumbacrats who worship a worthless no good piece of shit terroristic nigger .

oh yeah and by the way ... if ya want to forward this to law enforcement be my guest .... i tell them the same thing ... cause guess what ...I AM AN AMERICAN. i can trace my family history back to the founding of this country ... can you ? Ya'll are prolly nothing more than a bunch of muslim loving niggers that cant get a real job and have to play with crack pipes and steal computers .... watch ya back ... america is coming for ya .... and it wont be pretty when we are done with you and that nigger osama ...

DU RESPONDS: I'd be scared if I thought you could get your hand off your dick for more than five seconds.


Breaking The Law

From: ---------------- <[email protected]>
Subject: You sure are a true Free Speech blog, aren't you!

I actually read your posting rules and they are actually unlawful.? You can't say someone has to support Democrat candidates in order to post on an open forum.? Repost my message about the ebay item or I will be contacting my U.S. Democrat Congressman.?

Thank You.?

DU RESPONDS: I think you are totally wrong about that? And your Congressman will laugh in your face? And by the way question marks are supposed to go at the end of questions?


Harper's Bizarre

From: Vernon S----- <[email protected]>
Subject: Moron

Damn, you pieces of shit are bazaar, you are an insult to the demonrats. Oh thats right, you are one. Maybe you morons ought to wake up while Obama Bin Laden is on his "2009 Apology Tour" & see the writing on the wall. Oh thats right, I forgot, you bitches can't read.

DU RESPONDS: There's really no arguing with that kind of stupid.


Well Hung

From: Mark H------ <[email protected]>
Subject: bakken

f_ck you demo bitch. I would like to hang you from the highest tree and watch your heals kick in the air. it's a nice thougt.

DU RESPONDS: I think it's so cute that you want to hang me from a tree but you're too polite to spell out the word "fuck."


Alternatively...

From: Mike M---- <[email protected]>
Subject: 2500 days

Wed. June 16 marks 2500 consecutive days that America has been protected from a terrorist attack.

Thank God, George W, homeland security and our brave volunteer troops.

What are the chances that the activist old media will celebrate this milestone. The media loves it's milestones!!!!

Thanks...

Mike ----, Whittier, Ca.

DU RESPONDS: Don't you mean, "Wed. June 16 marks 2501 days since George W. Bush totally blew it and failed to protect America from the worst terrorist attack in history which killed 3,000 men, women and children on U.S. soil?"


Another Satisfied Customer

From: Anonymous Sender <[email protected]>
Subject: DU

Having been a member of DU for a few years I dropped out because of the pettiness of the community. I re-entered thinking that things had changed, I already have 5 "ignored". The people at DU are a bunch of pussies typing in the dark of their mommy's basement. Pussies and whimps. Good place to catch the news though.

DU RESPONDS: Er... thanks?


Plumbing The Depths

From: <[email protected]>
Subject: Joe the Plumber

How dare you investigate him and terrorize him,what us americans can't disagree with almighty Sen. Obama what are you now going to investigate me,We are americans and have every right to disagree with whom ever we want to and you better stop with attacking this guy,you have no right and he is 100% right that Sen. Obama tax plan is socialism at its best.you see if he wins and implements his tax plan my family has a business and see they already said if he puts into place they will have to let an employee because of the cost of the taxes see obama is creating small business to let go of emloyees because they cant afford to pay higher taxes and plus no goverment is going to tell me how to spend my income over my dead body. YOU BETTER STOP YOUR INESTIGATION WITH JOE THE PLUMBER HE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT HE SAID THIS IS AMERICA OR DID YOU FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DU RESPONDS: "Signed, Joe the Plumber."


How Rude

From: Phlash Gordin <[email protected]>
Subject: Commies Underground

How does it feel to know Osamabama, your false messiah, is breaking the nation & working to eradicate capitalism to establish his affirmative action/fag-friendly/euro-pussy commie shitheap which even the Russkies & Chicoms advise against? Oh, wait, you all still think Che Queervera was a hero & that standing in line for toilet paper are romantic ideals, you cunts.

DU RESPONDS: My goodness! I was going to ask if you kiss your mother with that mouth, but I'm guessing you skip foreplay and go straight to the intercourse.


Land Of The Banned

A Teabagger Writes (Part One)

From: Milehigh Pilot <[email protected]>
Subject: You denied me free speech on your forum, cause you know what i say is true

You bastards truly know old people are gonna die under the health bill.
this is where rule under the gun comes against you.
Trust me I know my life is worth more than yours.
Take that to the banks.
Tea Party folks know the dame thing, and I'm one of them. You fuckers want me dead, you'll setp in front and take the shot before I will ever will.
Better to lose you communists rather than me.

Ban me from your forum, who cares, the truth gets out, and you motherfuckers lose.
Try and take me out, the gun rules. and I speak for 5 million plus people who hate you motherfuckers.
We patriots respect the Constitution and Bill of Rights, which we will enforce.
So you motherfuckers step out of the way to your peril.

Peace or Revolution, your choice.

DU RESPONDS: I'm confused, is it you that wants us dead or us that want you dead?


A Teabagger Writes (Part Two)

From: Milehigh Pilot <[email protected]>
Subject: You denied me free speech on your forum, cause you know what i say is true

Now do we rule by the gun? Many democrats as me are now arming ourselves cause we fear of an Obama communist government. I speak for 200 million people in the USA

DU RESPONDS: Okay I get it now. You're just nuts.


Dude, Where's My Summons?

From: Mark H------ <[email protected]>
Subject: Your posting privileges have been revoked

I know why and I don't care. But you must know that we know that you support terrorists and drug dealers like the FARC. I am reporting your Web to secret services in the USA, EUROPE, and Interpol. Now you know who I am and we know who are. See you at Court dude.

DU RESPONDS: That's totally rad. Hang loose brah. Tubular.


Unclear On The Concept

From: SD5 <[email protected]>
Subject: Cannot post

I would like to know specifically what it was i did to be locked out from posting? Based on other posts I have read, I don't think I crossed any lines. THere is even a full topic where the OP is suggesting banning Repulblicans and ridding the world of them.

Just curious if Free Speech is alive and well.

My user name is SickofDummycrats.

Thanks for your time.

DU RESPONDS: :rofl:


The Joy of Censorship

From: No.23 <[email protected]>
Subject: Haven't you learned, yet, that...

censorship is an act of cowardice?

And when that act of censorship is performed in the dark, it's an act of cowardice coupled with a fear of exposure to that act.

And people wonder why the Democratic Party can be so adept at cowardly acts.

Some of their supporters are adept at it as well.

Nothing will change. Until acts of cowardice become acts of courage.

Good luck learning that lesson for yourself, as a censor for the DU.

No.23

DU RESPONDS: Don't be silly. Acts of censorship performed in the dark are just plain sexy.


See If You Can Decipher This One

From: ann <[email protected]>
Subject: ERROR: Your posting privileges have been revoked

you have hade more then enough time respond

lets see you run a sight that talks yet ,

when its your turn,

you cartoon out! is it you leave in a red *commie flag* world .

Communism is a socioeconomic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socioeconomic structure and political ideology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_ideology that promotes the establishment of an egalitarian http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egalitarianism, classlessm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classlessness, stateless http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stateless society http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society based on common ownership http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_ownership and control of the means of production http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Means_of_production and property in general.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Symbol-hammer-and-sickle.svg




or a red white and blue ?

lack of response say------------ red commie world ?


DU RESPONDS: No, lack of response say "Get lost."


And Finally...

The Greatest Piece Of Hate Mail DU Has Ever Received

From: Reuben O------ <[email protected]>
Subject: BARACK -- KILLED (CAYLEE)!!

BARACK -- (& CAYLEE-ANTHONY)!!
===========================================

THE WORSE AND
SADDEST STORY THATS
GOING ON IN AMERICA
RIGHT NOW IS:

THE CASEY ANTHONY
CASE!!

AND THIS IS A PICTURE
OF CASEY ANTHONY!!

AND MOST PEOPLE
BELIEVE THAT:

CASEY ANTHONY WAS
WICKED ENOUGH TO
KILL HER OWN
LITTLE DAUGHTER!!

AND:
HER DAUGHTER's
NAME WAS CAYLEE!!

AND:
THIS IS A PICTURE
OF HER!!

AND THIS CUTE LITTLE
GIRL HAD BEEN
MISSING SINCE:
JUNE OF 2008!!

AND HER BODY WAS
NOT FOUND UNTIL:
DECEMBER 2008!!

AND THIS LITTLE GIRL
NAMED CAYLEE,

SHE WAS FINALLY
FOUND DEAD INSIDE
OF A:
BODY-BAG!!

AND HER FLESH WAS
NOT FOUND!!

BUT:
ONLY HER SKULL
AND HER BONES
WERE FOUND!

AND SHE HAD BEEN
KILLED AND WRAPPED
IN A:
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!









AND:
MANY MANY PEOPLE
ARE SAYING THAT
CASEY ANTHONY
KILLED HER OWN
LITTLE GIRL!!


AND THAT:
CASEY ANTHONY IS
EVIL AND NEEDS TO
GO TO PRISON!!

BUT I SAY THAT:
BARACK OBAMA,
THE ANTI-CHRIST IS
THE ONE THAT NEEDS
TO GO TO PRISON!!














FOR THE MURDER OF
LITTLE:
CAYLEE ANTHONY!!

BECAUSE HE USES HIS
(B. O.) MARK OF
THE BEAST!!

TO POSSESS THE
MINDS OF PEOPLE!!

TO CAUSE THEM TO
DO EVIL, DUMB,
CRAZY AND VIOLENT
THINGS!!

SO LETS TAKE A
LOOK AT THE
THREE (3) REAL
FACTS!!

ABOUT THE:
CASEY ANTHONY
CASE!!


FACT (# 1)!!

HER LITTLE GIRL's
BODY WAS FOUND
DEAD IN A:
BODY-BAG!!


AND THE WORD:
BODY-BAG
SURELY HAS:
THE LETTERS (B. O.)
IN IT TOO!!

AND (B. O.) IS THE
MARK OF THE BEAST
NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!










FACT (# 2)!!

BY THE TIME THIS
LITTLE GIRL's BODY
WAS FOUND,

THERE WAS NO
FLESH ON HER!!

BUT THEY ONLY
FOUND:
HER BONES!!

AND THE WORD:
(BONES) SURELY
HAS THE LETTERS
(B. O.) IN
IT TOO!!

AND:
(B. O.) IS THE
MARK OF THE BEAST
NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!









AND LAST BUT NOT
LEAST!!

HERE IS:
FACT (# 3)!!

THIS LITTLE GIRL'S
BODY WAS FOUND!!

AND IT HAD BEEN:
WRAPPED IN A
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!









NOT A CINDERELLA
BLANKET!!

BUT A WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!

AND THE WORDS:
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET
HAS:
BARACK OBAMA's
EXACT INITIALS OF
(B. H. O.) IN IT
TOO!!

BECAUSE:
AFTER THE WORD
(POOH)!!
COMES THE WORD
(BLANKET)!!

AND THE WORD:
(POOH) ENDS
WITH (O & H)!!

AND THEN COMES:
THE WORD
(BLANKET)!!
THAT STARTS WITH
THE LETTER (B)!!

SO NOW WE HAVE
THE LETTERS:

(O. H. B.) RIGHT
BESIDE EACH OTHER
IN THE WORDS:
POOH-BLANKET!!

AND WHEN YOU
UNSCRAMBLE
(O.H.B.)

YOU GET:
(B. H. O.)
WHICH IS
THE MARK OF
THE BEAST!!

AND THE INITIALS
OF THE BEAST
NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!









AND THIS DEMON IS
THE ANTI-CHRIST!!
AND HE IS KILLING
PEOPLE AND
CAUSING KILLINGS
WITH HIS:
(B. O.) AND
(B. H. O.) MARK
OF THE BEAST
FOLKS!!










AND:
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!
SURELY HAS THE
LETTERS (B. H. O.)
IN IT!!
AND RIGHT BESIDE
EACH OTHER FOLKS!!
BECAUSE:
(B. H. O.) IS THE
MARK OF THE
BEAST NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!










AND HE NEEDS TO
BE ARRESTED FOR
THE MURDER OF:
CAYLEE ANTHONY!!


BECAUSE HE IS
SILENTLY KILLING
PEOPLE WITH HIS
MARK!!
AND I CAN ASSURE
YOU THAT:
BARACK OBAMA
AND HIS MARK OF
THE BEAST CAUSED
CAYLEE ANTHONY
TO BE KILLED!!
BECAUSE:
BARACK OBAMA IS
THE ANTI-CHRIST
FOLKS!!
AND HIS MARK OF
THE BEAST IS
SURELY:

====================
BHO. BHO. BHO.


B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.
B. O. B. O. B. O.


BHO. BHO. BHO.




B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.
BHO. BHO. BHO.


NO QUESTION
ABOUT IT!!
==========================================
FROM: Mister Truthful
EMAIL: [email protected]

===================================


P.S.*** PLEASE EMAIL ME:
SO THAT I CAN ANSWER ANY OF
YOUR COMMENTS, CONCERNS
OR QUESTIONS:
====================================
ABOUT THE BEAST, THE
ANTI-CHRIST, THE MARK OF
THE BEAST, THE TRIBULATION ,
THE WARS, THE EARTHQUAKES,
THE END TIME, HELL,
THE RAPTURE, OR THE NEW
BABYLON, THE GAS PRICES
OR THE ECONOMY,
MARRIAGES, BUDGETING,
FEMALE PASTORS OR
DREAM INTERPRETATIONS.
===================================
BECAUSE THESE ARE THE
THINGS THAT I HAVE STUDIED!
===========================

I HAVE ALSO STUDIED HOW
TO REDUCE ACID-REFLUX
DISEASE & HOW TO AVOID
SUGAR-DIABETES & HOW
TO INCREASE A PERSON'S
CHANCES OF SURVIVING
CANCER.

DU RESPONDS: You win.


The Top 10 will return in two weeks, on Monday September 7. See you then!