Red Dog Squadron this is Red Dog 1- SALT report from the front lines of the War on Christmas

[underpants]

Size- formidable. They are large in numbers
Activity- slow moving but persistent
Location- not-as-wealthy-as-they-think-they-are suburban sprawl "Towne Center" west of Richmond
Time- this afternoon

I was able to breech the security on one of their FOB's (Forward Operating Base)using the cover of my 4 year old daughter and an Oxford buttondown shirt (blue). Details follow:

Add to the SALT report for a full SALUTE report
Uniform-primarily the "Hollister" insignia (emblem-white seagull silhouette). Sockless sandals on the males-disproportional number of heels on the females. Reference to our G2 Intelligence as this make make them slower in movement.

Equipment- unconventional Load Bearing Equipment, bags with less effective carrying space but ample outer surface area for depiction of iconic logos. Plastic.

Mission this appears to be both a training AND operations base. This "Towne Center" is highly similar to their former nomenclature of "Mall" operations. Both a hub of outward activity while also a drawing point for their movement.

Quartering This FOB must be of the upper echelon as it actually had a Hotel on the grounds. Probably for command staffing though none were observed directly.

Communications Advanced. All had handheld commo devices. They appeared to be very intent on development of the mission as there was a remarkably high level of use of these devices. Must have been mission related as it is hard to rationally determine what else they could conceivably have to talk about to the extent of device use.

Security Weak. Able to park my movement vehicle remarkably close and was actually greeted upon entry of each of their inner "offices". Easy freedom of movement. Able to use my own communication device without raising suspicion.

Logistics Well established eating facilities. Several outlaying "restaurants" (probably for the officer corp) with a central feeding hub called a "food court"- great variety (pizza, Japanese, Chinese, steak, sandwiches, strange concentration on pretzels) but high in starch and carbs (refer to G2 under "ability to sustain fight"). This was clearing for the enlisted personnel.

Esprit de corp Hard to determine. Most of those on the move seemed to be more anxious than necessary while the "office" staffers appeared to be overly distance, dour, and withdrawn--this could be indicative of a false self of superiority in the cadre of the facility from the rank-and-file. Their hero icons consistently wore shirts but left them unbuttoned and were remarkably fit (consistent with most movements' hero icons). Mechanical staircases.

Review While I did notice the application of several of OUR movements former initiatives (carrot cake in several bakery eating facilities-hold over from our early work in the 60's) they seem to have completely accepted our greatest assets (the pagan "Tree" and the king-Elf character) while I observed almost no representation of our most effective and iconic depiction of our core value (Jesus). They seem to be dug in for a long fight.... but they are clearly over extended on their credit especially with their halted earning capacity.