Regarding the link between oral sex & oral cancer that posted here yesterday, please read this story

[housewolf]

Re-posted with a changed title

Blow jobs may be funny and a prime target for jokes and laughter, but the oral cancer that might be the result of one isn't so humorous. It's serious.... sometimes deadly serious.

She was 26 years old when diagnosed with cancer at the base of her tongue, metastisized into her neck. As a 26 yr old female, she didn't fit their profile of people who got that disease - it was something mainly found in men over 60 who had smoked and drank alcohol most of their lives, not something that they found in 26 yr old females. Back in 1976, they had no idea what the cause might be for that particular cancer found in a young woman.

The only protocol for treatment they had at UCLA Hospital was what they did for the 60 yr old+ men - a full course of radiation therapy to start with, d5 days a week for 6 weeks. Then they wanted to do 2 surgeries - the first to remove the cancerous lymph gland (and surrounding glands) in the neck, and the second to remove half the tongue and the right jawbone.

Very funny .... right??????

She was single, 26 yrs old, faced with hugely disfiguring surgery.

Instead, they did something called a radium implant - they took 3 pieces of radioactive material and threaded them through her neck into the tumor at the base of her tongue and back out.

Those were the 3 worst, most painful, days of her life. She felt like her throat was on fire, being burnt from the inside out. She was in isolation - the radioactivity was too dangerous for other folks to be around. Being awake was physically painful - unbearably so.

All in all, she had very nearly the lifetime maximum allowable amount of radiation within about a 4 month period. Radiation therapy... the so-called "gift" that keeps on giving.

Yes, she lived - she survived both the cancer and the treatment, for 35 years now. She's one of the lucky ones, there are very few who have survived this long who had what she had. Most oral cancer patients have a much shorter life span.

She's suffered every day since then with the after-effects of all the radiation, to the point no where the muscles in her throat no long work. She can't swallow anything anymore, neither solid foods nor liquids. She now relies entirely on a feeding tube for nutrition. Her lungs are messed up from years of aspiration of food/liquid into her lungs caused by decreasing functionality of her throat muscles. She's prone to pheumonia and has frequent debilitating fevers and chills. Her neck has been disfigured since 1976 from the neck surgery. At this point, She's lost all the muscles, glands, etc from her neck, which looks like that picture from Alice in Wonderland of Alice with the really long neck. Her vocal chords have been ravaged by the after-effects of radiation. It's difficult for her to speak because her throat and tongue muscles don't work correctly any more. Often she's asked to reapeat what she said because people can't understand her. Her speaking volume is so low that many people can't hear her, especially over the phone and most especially by cell phone. She can no longer either sing or yell.

It was only in the last year that her head-and-neck dr mentioned to her that they think they know, now, 35 years later, what the cause is of head-and-neck cancers in young women - Human PapillomaVirus, otherwise knows as HPV. Fortunately for her, she learned it from her doctor instead of from a post on a political forum where nearly all the many replies were laughs and jokes.

So... who is this person? Whose story is this? Well, it's mine. It's my story. It's stuff I live with every single day. And let me tell you... it's not funny. It's quite serious.

Do I have any idea who I might have "caught" this virus from??? Nope, not a clue, it's been too long ago. Not that it matters at this point, for it doesn't. I've lived for 35 years with it's effects, and I can tell you ... they've been devestating. I'm 61 now. With any luck, I still have some years of dealing with the effects of oral cancer, probably caused by HPV, left to me to continue living and dealing with it.

[xchrom]

1. recommend

those radium implants are used for other cancers as well.

and i have a dear woman friend who had anal cancer -- and oh my god -- the suffering.

very glad you are doing ok now.

a terrible thing.

[housewolf]

70. Thank you, Xchrom

I can't imagine radium implants for anal cancer - you don't mention whether your friend survived her cancer experience or not - I hope that she did, and that she's been able to live a full, happy life since that time.

[Maru Kitteh]

2. typo.

edited because typo fixed :-)
-----------------------------


You may still have time to edit


ETA - this is a very powerful and moving piece you put together. I realize quite well that the way many of us deal with the fear of illness and death is to laugh about it, and sometimes there's nothing inherently wrong with that - as long as the very real suffering is not lost.

[JTFrog]

4. It's the OP's story so it's all the same in the end. nt

[Maru Kitteh]

12. I know, but it's heartfelt and she put a lot of work into it. I wanted to help.

[LynneSin]

111. Then send a private IM

instead of trying to embarass someone

[Maru Kitteh]

149. When people remain in one forum, PM's may go unseen for hours or more - well beyone the edit period.

The OP thanked me for the information as well as my sentiments, and understood my intent.

[LynneSin]

169. That's not true -you get a big red bar across the top of DU forum saying you have a PM

you can't miss it.

[Maru Kitteh]

183. No, I do not.

When I get PM's, I don't see them I back out of whatever forum I am in to the "discuss" page.

[seabeyond]

189. i do. stay in gd and i will pm you..... test. nt

[Maru Kitteh]

192. HOLY COW. Thanks seabeyond!

Good to know, and thanks. :hi:

[housewolf]

25. Thank you!

I did fix the typo.

And I appreciate your comments. Frankly, I was stunned by the reaction by so many to the article linking HPV & oral cancer. I hope more will read and recognize the real-life effects of what the article talked about.

[demmiblue]

3. Again, thank you for sharing your story.

Peace and good health to you. :hug:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

7. Yes.

[housewolf]

27. Thank you for your good wishes

The cause of oral cancer in your women has been a mystery for too long now - it's good to know that they finally think they know what's causing it.

[housewolf]

68. oops, I meant "young women", not "your women"

n/t

[Odin2005]

5. And yet many DUers think the HPV vaccination is evil.

:banghead:

[xchrom]

18. +1

[Maru Kitteh]

35. blah blah all vaxes are giant corporate money schemes blah blah blah - it's ignorance that kills

and causes needless, stupid pain.

[MedicalAdmin]

56. I posted against it (caveat alert)

But only with the wholesale carte blanche use of it in school aged girls without consideration of the girls likely exposure. This is, I feel, at least somewhat rational.

Feel free to disagree.

[Maru Kitteh]

59. In the United States ALL girls and boys are likely to encounter the virus. I disagree. I think all

children, male and female should receive the vaccine.

[mistertrickster]

146. Agreed. By the time a vaccine makes it through clinical trials, it's

as ready as it can possibly be.

[Dappleganger]

60. Our children's doctor believes the same...

we opted to not give it to the girls. They know about hpv of the mouth, too.

[boppers]

93. Why not the girls?

Or was that phrased awkwardly, and I'm seeing a gender issue where there is none?

[Dappleganger]

135. We have boys too...

2 of each, which is the reason for my awkward phrase. ;)

[Maru Kitteh]

138. 3 of them will likely encounter HPV. You are more comfortable gambling with their lives and health

than you are with protecting them? Have you seen what the genitals of a young man dealing with HPV look like? A female?

Edit to add photo links

Remove the extra h and copy and paste h

and female h


On the risks:

An update on adverse events was published by the Journal of the American Medical Association and looked at data from the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS), covering 12,424 reported adverse events after about 23 million doses of vaccine between June 2006 and December 2008.<42><43> Most adverse effects were minor and not greater than background rates compared with other vaccines, the exception being higher rates for syncope and venous thromboembolic events.<43> Venous thromboembolic events were noted in 56 reports at a rate of 0.2 cases per 100,000 doses distributed and included 19 cases of pulmonary embolism, 4 of which were fatal.<43> Overall, 772 events (6.2% of the total number of adverse events, but only 0.003% of the total number of doses) were described as serious and included 32 deaths (1 per 1,000,000 doses).<43>

Other adverse events include local site reactions (7.5 cases per 100,000 doses distributed), headaches (4.1 cases per 100,000 doses distributed), hypersensitivity reactions (3.1 cases per 100,000 doses distributed), and urticaria (hives) (2.6 cases per 100,000 doses distributed).<43>

The FDA and the CDC said that with millions of vaccinations "by chance alone some serious adverse effects and deaths" will occur in the time period following vaccination, but have nothing to do with the vaccine.<44> More than 20 women who received the Gardasil vaccine have died, but these deaths have not been causally connected to the shot.<44> Where information has been available, the cause of death was explained by other factors.<45><46> Likewise, a small number of cases of Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS) have been reported following vaccination with Gardasil, there is no evidence linking GBS to the vaccine.<12><47><42> It is unknown why a person contracts GBS, or what initiates the disease.<48>

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardasil

I can't figure what kind of rational person could examine the facts concerning this vaccine and leave their children without some kind of protection against a virus the vast majority of them will encounter.

If you find the WIKI information unacceptable you can feel free to look the same information up in the scientific journals they are referenced to.

[Dappleganger]

141. I know the risks.

Far more than you know which I don't care to go into with you. They need to come up with safer vaccines than what is available now.

[Maru Kitteh]

147. Barring extreme circumstances I fail to see how any rational being

could risk their children's health in such a manner.

[Dappleganger]

148. That's a judgment call.

You're calling me irrational, when I have explained that I know far more about the ramifications than I care to tell you.

There ARE side effects which happen which are quite disconcerting, and far more prevalent than I as a parent am comfortable with at this time. I know that there are many other rational medical professionals who study the data and have personal experience within their practice who believe the same. For now, I am going to choose to hold off until the vaccines are safer. That is hardly an irrational choice. If you disagree with it, that doesn't bother me at all but I am not calling you irrational.

[Maru Kitteh]

150. You may not be an irrational person and still have the appearance of not approaching this subject

with an informed and rational judgment. I might have phrased that with greater consideration and for that I do apologize. I still fail to see how one can - with an informed and rational judgment - come to the conclusion that NOT protecting their child is a rational choice.

[Maru Kitteh]

152. Argh. Wrong place. n/t

[MedicalAdmin]

164. The problem here is that there are virtually no longitudinal

studies relating to adverse effects from vaccines. It's simply not good enough.

As such our clinic has a policy of deciding vaccine advice to be decided on a case by case basis based on a patients medical history and needs. Statistics, although helpful, break down on an individual basis. As we deal with patients as individuals (something that not all medical professionals choose to do although I would like to think that most do), this is a rational approach.

[Maru Kitteh]

190. Does your clinic reject evidence-based medicine? Longitudinal studies on the effects of wearing

your seat-belt have not been done much either. A certain sub-set of the population rejects the rational choice of preventing injury by wearing a seat-belt with emotional arguments and family legends of uncle-so-and-so who only survived his car crash because he didn't even have any seat-belts. It's not rational and it's certainly not an evidence-based decision.

I know there are millions of parents out there deluding themselves into thinking their precious little angels are not bumping uglies and even if they were, no kid of theirs would ever have sex with "that kind" of person - but evidence shows the highest probability that they are wrong, no matter what they think they "know" about their kid. As a rule (all rules have some few exceptions) those children face less risk getting their vaccines, being well-informed about sex, birth-control, disease prevention and of course, wearing their seat-belt, every time.

[Maru Kitteh]

191. Arrrgggh ! wrong place again :(

[MedicalAdmin]

202. We are all about peer review.

Our medical director used to be a scientist ( surgical research) and did constant NIH grant review. She's all about evidence.

But being knowledgable about the strengths and weaknesses of studies is not a rejection but rather a thorough understanding and is integral to the peer review process.

And I stand by our approach of treating each patient as an individual case rather than a statistic. Note that I said patient and not parent. If asked for and necessary based upon a pts. medical history and needs we do recommend vacines although we do often also recommend specific schedules and types. All based on research and studies, of course. This is patient centric medicine. Sorry if you feel that it isn't "scientific" enough for you.

Of course I suspect that we agree on many things and that you were just jerking your knee as I have done above.

Cheers

[Maru Kitteh]

206. Let me tell you what I hear you saying, I don't want to misunderstand you.

What I hear you saying is that your clinic does not make a standard practice of suggesting vaccinations, childhood and otherwise, as recommended by the CDC.

What I hear you saying is that your clinic does not consider vaccinations to be safe enough to recommend as a regular part of preventative health care, but rather consider them a tool to be used only in very specific circumstances.

Is this an accurate reflection?

[MedicalAdmin]

207. No, it isn't accurate.

We make recommendations based on patient needs. Given that all statistics break down on an individual level it would be irresponsible to make any suggestions applicable to everyone.

If a patient, a self selected group of those less than healthy, is immune compromised in some way we may suggest a
Odification of timing and schedule.

If it helps you understand our patient base, we don't deal with any form of acute care. Most of our patients come to us after seeing several other docs for long standing chronic problems. As such our statistical universe is skewed toward the less healthy.

Nonetheless it is my contention that statistical recommendations by the CDC, which has a history of excellent work, should be tempered by a clinical understanding of a patients needs and weaknesses.

[Maru Kitteh]

210. Good lord. That was like pulling teeth.

How many times did I reference, in one way or the other, exceptions to the rule? Was that so hard? :P

Have a great weekend.

[mistertrickster]

120. Because the dangers of not getting HPV outweigh the risks of getting it?

Not to mention that the more people who don't get the vaccine, the more chance it will be spread.

I don't understand folks who choose to NOT protect their children.

[Dappleganger]

134. We have given them ever other vaccine recommended...

and strongly believe in the protection of other vaccines, but this particular immunization is not without it's problems and there hasn't been enough time for it to be out to convince us that the benefits outweigh the protection. IOW, the science hasn't convinced us and we are not alone. There are many other doctors who believe the same.

[mistertrickster]

145. Okay, makes sense . . . nt

[tavalon]

98. 70% of sexually active people have confirmed strains of HPV

Some cause cancer, some cause warts, some we don't yet know what they do to us. But that 70% means that we need to look at this closely and not only consider the vaccinations but once again, pushing the safer sex. Wrap it up and don't exchange fluids. Unfortunately, teenagers and especially teenagers who haven't been taught good sex education do have unprotected sex and they have unprotected oral sex too.

[mistertrickster]

122. Is it the strain or is it the way the virus reacts in the body?

The simple fact is that a lot of people get throat and mouth cancer that isn't from HPV. Meanwhile, many millions of people are exposed to HPV and don't get anything.

[Maru Kitteh]

137. Once your daughter is laying there dying with cancer I"m sure that will be an important distinction.

Or your son has to have 146 warts burned off his dick, scrotum, anus and peritoneal area.

When people get ejected from their vehicle in a crash, roll in gasoline and burn to a crisp, it's really stupid to wonder if they burned to death or died from the impact instead of focusing on the fact that the preventative act of applying a seat belt might have saved them.

[mistertrickster]

144. What is it with you? Btw, it's "lying" not "laying." Lay is transitive. nt

[Maru Kitteh]

155. Well thanks for the typo/usage tip - but what about addressing the content? Did I misunderstand you

because if I did, I"m sorry but it appeared to me that you were justifying a lack of vaccination by throwing into the discussion a question about the exact mechanism of HPV related cancer.

[mistertrickster]

168. I'm all for the vaccination. We should give it free as a public service

and would if I had any say so about it.

I guess my point was just that there doesn't seem to be a direct cause-to-effect relationship between exposure and cancer.

I mean giving-getting oral sex still isn't exactly a death sentence although this newly revealed risk is clearly a risk.

[Maru Kitteh]

186. I'm sorry I misunderstood you! I agree that the more we know about how HPV-->cancer the better

potential we have to treat with greater efficacy. I am satisfied with the fact that a causal relationship has been established, and I'm REALLY in agreement that the vaccine should be available as a free service. It could prevent untold suffering.

[mistertrickster]

211. thank you . . . smiley pals below--

Okay :pals:

[tavalon]

179. See my other reply further down.

Thanks. I've been typing so much my fingers ache.

[tavalon]

182. That's why this and all cancers are multifactorial

We can't yet control genetic predisposition and immunologic failures that allow the HPV to become a virulent and often deadly cancer but we can help fewer people get HPV. It's the only part of the equation we've cracked so far.

[tavalon]

187. Certain strains are more linked with cancer

I used to be able to rattle off the numbers, but they've found others now so I just gave up on that little project. The thing is, cancer, in any form, is multifaceted. There is the causative agent, which is usually an irritant of some sort, smoke, alcohol, a virus like HPV and dozens of others, but then, as you say, many don't get anything. That's where genetics and the immune system get involved. We know that much but we don't yet know how to take advantage of the last two things but we can often modify the first thing. That's where all the "stop irritating your cells" campaigns come from, otherwise known as quitting smoking, moderating drinking, keeping one's weight in a good range, exercising - each of these things helps to stop irritating your cells making them less likely to get infected, get cancer or clog up something like your heart or your brain.

As a little aside, we all create cells in our bodies that could be called cancer cells and our wonderful immune system kills them and sweeps them away with amazing regularity unless it's just too big or something gets messed up in our immune systems or we have a genetic predisposition.

[MedicalAdmin]

165. correlation vs. causality.

79% having the virus doesn't mean that it is the cause.

[tavalon]

178. We're leaving out the fact that people are now genotyping these cancers

and they keep being full of about 6 different strains of HPV. We've got the causality, mostly. Of course, the missing factor is why some people with these strains actually develop these virulent cancers and some do not. I think that's where a person's own genetics and immune system functionality come into play. But, HPV IS causing the cancer in these susceptible people.

[tavalon]

97. I have a son who was severly damaged by his vaccinations and will never live an independent life

but vaccinations are not black and white. And in the case of the HPV vaccination, I see nothing but good. It's too late for me. I have HPV, not sure which strains.

[housewolf]

158. Oh Tavalon, I'm so sorry about your son

That's heartbreaking! I can't imagine the courage and strength it must have taken for you to deal with a child who can never live an independent life. My heart goes out to you.

I have a cousin who has a daughter who was born quite a bit pre-mature, who spends her life in a wheel chair, on a feeding tube, who can't speak. They love her to pieces but I know it's been very, very hard for them, as I imagine it has been for you.

Blessing to you and your son, may you continue to find the strength and courage you need.

[tavalon]

180. We love him to pieces

and yeah, he's quite the handful. He's like a toddler with an athletic 16 year old's body. Trying to catch him when he's running with scissors and intent in placing them in a wall socket can be quite harrowing. But luckily for him and for us all, he has his dad, his biological mom, his stepmom (me), who is also a nurse and I'm really proud to have been able to get him some medical help that has made his life much better, and a live in uncle. The boy has resources and so do we. So, I actually feel blessed and in between the tough times, this kid is just amazingly joyful and fun. How many parents have a 16 year old who likes to snuggle while watching Finding Nemo? Heck, most 16 year old's don't want to be caught dead with their parents.

I guess it's just human nature to see other people's trials as so much more than our own.

[tomp]

108. i think MANDATED hpv vaccine is wrong.

but bang your head a little more, for good measure.

[Enthusiast]

112. I thought only right wing

assholes believe the HPV vaccination to be evil.

[Odin2005]

119. Look at our Health forum to see the kooks here.

[AngryAmish]

163. Health forum? We have let the anti-vax nutters run loose all over this place

[HuckleB]

173. That they do.

:mad:

[hippywife]

6. Sweet housewolf!

You are one of the sweetest, bravest people I know. I'm sorry for all you've endured, both from the cancer and at the hands of hurtful comments.

For all that you've been through, and even though you shared this with me some time ago, it still impresses me that you hang tight with us in C&B and support and advise all of us who need it.

You're one of the best here, you know? :hug: :loveya:

And I accidentally hit "unrecommend" :eyes: I would appreciate it if someone could recommend this thread to undo my booboo!

[inna]

8. gladly done; K&R

[hippywife]

9. Thank you so much, inna!

Really appreciated. :hug:

[inna]

37. you're more than welcome and thank you for your great post, btw!

:hug: both to you and to the OP, too!

[hippywife]

46. Nice to meet you, inna!

[housewolf]

69. Thanks for your support, Inna

It means a lot. You never know what you're going to face when you post something here. Fortunately it's been largely supportive for my OP.

[inna]

23. delete, wrong place

[xchrom]

10. i gave her a rec miss hippywife.

i'm horrified at the short shrift people give hpv related cancers -- because a thing is not as common as say heart attacks

[hippywife]

19. Princess Spice to the rescue!

Thank you so much! :hug:

[xchrom]

22. fist bumps to my peeps!

:fistbump:

[hippywife]

26. ...

:fistbump:

[Beacool]

63. HW, they let you out of the cooking forum?

Don't you have something delicious in the oven?

:D

I rec'd it too. It's a serious subject, it's just that sometimes people are smart asses and don't realize that someone on the board could have gone through something similar. I don't think that they meant to be insensitive (although I didn't read the posts to know for sure).

:hi:

[hippywife]

64. Hey there, B!

I'm slumming on behalf of a dear friend. :rofl:

Good ta see ya, babe! :D

[Beacool]

65. Nice seeing you too.

I lurk at the forum once in a while to check out what you guys are "cooking". I should say hi over there more often.

:D

[hippywife]

67. Why, yes you should!

You'd definitely be welcome. :hug:

Hey, did you happen to catch my earring business in the DU Marketplace? A little something to keep me sane this winter. Good thing, too since we have been snowed in for three days! Check it out! :hi:

[Beacool]

71. No, I haven't.

I didn't know that you mad jewelry. You are a woman of many talents. I'll check it out.

;-)

[tavalon]

99. I don't think we'll be able to say that in a few years

I think what we did sexually since the pill freed all of us to share fluids will really come home to roost in the next decade with HPV cancers just as it did when HIV hit.

Farrah Fawcett died from anal cancer secondary to HPV. A friend died a couple of years ago from neck cancer - HPV. And the hits keep coming.

[bertman]

142. I understand the sentiment, tavalon, but we were doing the same things BEFORE the pill

that people are doing now. Only now there are fewer unwanted pregnancies.

When I was coming of age in the late 50's and the 60's there was lots of sexual activity despite no birth control except condoms or the 'rhythm method', despite the exhortations of parents, ministers, and government officials, despite fear of pregnancy, despite fear of social ostracism.

Just sayin'


Edited to REC this thread.

[hippywife]

143. I agree. Unconstrained sex activity isn't new behavior.

It's millenniums old and the consequences of childbirth dealt with differently through time. :hi:

[tavalon]

177. And now we're seeing those cancers

Have been for about the last thirty years. We only just began realizing in the last decade what was causing them.

[bertman]

194. So my question is what is causing them? Oral sex has been going down (sorry)

for millenia, so why is this epidemic surfacing now?

This is an honest question. I'd like to know why it's become so prevalent now, in the era of penicillin, tetracycline, and medicines that can cure almost any STD.

[tavalon]

198. Do you have some documentation for that claim about oral sex?

We have no antivirals yet for any strain of HPV. No antibiotic will ever work on a virus. That's why AIDS killed for so long until we managed to get a cocktail of antivirals that could keep people alive despite the virus.

There is no cure for any of the viral STDs, even HIV - we can decrease the viral load but we can't cure it (caveat - one person has been cured by a stem cell/ bone marrow transplant). Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis are all bacteria, ergo, easily cured by antibiotics.

[bertman]

215. How about the Kama Sutra? It was written over 1400 years ago.

More recently, Autobiography of a Flea was written in the late 1880's.

I suppose I could do more research on this, but that might just give you more fun material to check out.

[Sugarcoated]

196. I asked my gyn about Farrah's cancer

not only do I have HPV, and unfortunately one of the cancer causing strains, but my sister died of colon cancer in her 30's, and my dad had it when he died (though it was liver cancer, from drinking, that killed him) so when Farrah died I was freaked, but not because of HPV. It was the colon cancer in my family that had me worried.

I've had several colonoscopies, I'm 49, but it sounded like with Farrah's cancer, it doesn't present like a polyp that then grows into a tumor, but more like how cervical cancer develops, starts on the surface with irregular cells. She told me Farrah probably contracted cancer there from HPV spread through anal sex! I had never thought of that connection . . . so, more to worry about! I asked if it was possible to get an anal version of the pap smear, and she said they didn't do them there, that it was more common at inner city clinics where gay men go for health care. Okaaay. So confused!

I have the occasional irregular pap result, but thank God, never cancer, but now I'm wondering if there's an oral "pap" type of test. Is my husband at risk for oral cancer as well? I found out I had it from a pap smear 20 years ago and there was a flat, white spot on my cervix . . . that's it, no warts they talk about. Sorry about the long post, but you're in the field so I thought I'd pick your brain.

[tavalon]

201. Yeah, I don't think anyone chose to be that graphic, but yeah, that's

most likely how she got it. The reason you won't see such tests except for inner cities with gay men is because many people believe that only gay men have anal sex. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It's certainly not as common as oral sex but it is practiced plenty. And one very scary thing is that many teenagers who want to preserve their vaginal virginity are giving away their anal virginity.

I'm going to research the oral pap or evaluation. I'm also going to research what might be being done to assess for anal HPV.

[Sugarcoated]

204. Oh, thank you, thank you tavalon for helping me navigate through this

it eases my mind to have accurate information. I'll be seeing my gyn in March for my 6 month check up, and I'll be torturing him once again with questions, but in the meantime, discussing this here is so much better than surfing the internet which is full of anecdotal, really scary info. I've been fairly candid about my health issues, so I'll go a step further to ask this question . . . I have never had anal sex, my husband's just "been around there", if you know what I mean, so does that up my risk for anal cancer?

Information is power, I want to face this head on, and maybe help others who read this in the process. :)

[tavalon]

205. If he's been around and was around without a condom

(and with male condoms, even with a condom, sometimes HPV gets around the edge, then you have as much risk as anyone. But your husband having anal sex before doesn't increase your risk, again with the caveat that if he picked up one of the strains that causes cancer, then if you get that strain from him, you are at higher risk.

I'm interested in researching how much prostate cancer may have an HPV link. This whole conversation has me energized to head to the medical library and find the newest information.

What I'm surprised about more than anything is that we haven't made it common practice to genotype people's HPV. It would seem if we had started that process a few years ago when the technology became available, it would be a very inexpensive, common test by now, like the Pap is.

[Sugarcoated]

212. I don't think he'd been around a whole lot

but then again, neither had I, but I know that doesn't matter, it just takes one partner somewhere in the chain. We've been together exclusively for 21 years.

You sound like a medical detective, awesome. I'm not in the medical field, but I've had a lifelong fear of cancer, and from a very young age I've read up on it symptoms, causes, theories, etc. in the hopes of catching it early . . . but it still got my sister, I couldn't save her. :( I've read that glandular cancers, ie: breast, ovarian, prostate, colon, if one type runs in a family, then you aren't just at a higher risk for that cancer, but all glandular cancers. I wonder if researchers still think this is the case. And, yes, it seems to me a logical jump to suspect HPV affects other body parts this way. Hell, maybe it would explain the higher lung cancer rates given that oral HPV can affect not just the mouth and throat, but the larynx and vocal chords.

[tavalon]

213. I have a theory

I have neither tested it nor researched it. That said, here it is. Cancer cells might develop in areas that are chronically irritated. For example lungs in smokers, pancreas and liver in heavy drinkers, cervix, anus, throat and maybe prostate with hpv. It's quite simplistic and doesn't take into account genetics or how the immune system plays its part. After all, we all have cancerous cells at various times but our bodies neutralize them until one day they don't. But it's something I occasionally muse about.

In my personal situation I had undiagnosed Celiac for almost 40years, so I'm at increased risk for small bowel cancer, which is the very place that is chronically inflamed in that disease. With each year that I remain gluten free, my risk decreases by some amount.

[tavalon]

214. It's really important that you know that even though I know some information,

That this is still the Internet and there is no guarantee that I'm giving you correct information either. I'm glad you will be talking to your gyn about it. I hope some of what has been talked about is a help, not only to you, but to anyone.

[Phentex]

11. done!

:hi:

[hippywife]

20. Thank you, Phentex!

I appreciate it! :hug:

[housewolf]

29. I appreciate it to!

Thanks, Phentex, for the rec, and thanks, too for reading my story.

[housewolf]

28. Thanks for your support, HW!

Your friendship means a lot to me.



:loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[hippywife]

40. As does yours to me, sweetheart.

You are always there when we need it, the least we can do is be there for you.

You are loved and cherished. :hug:

[pengillian101]

83. Done deal.

[Phentex]

13. I missed the original post...

until you posted. I am glad you shared your story! :hug:

[Sonoman]

14. Mine might have been one of those insensitive replies.

And I only wish I could apologize to you in person.

But this will have to do.

Here's my apology and I hope you can accept it, housewolf.

Sonoman

[A-Schwarzenegger]

16. Good man.

[seabeyond]

17. i read the thread, and all the humor and i didnt get it. but YOU

good for you. she had another op locked and too many came on that thread to justify adn excuse. YOU.... simply apologized. how big is that.

[Sonoman]

34. ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=332910&mesg_id=333454

[seabeyond]

41. man.

so right on. thanks for sharing that post. my teen boys and i talk about this phenomenon, often. is this really the person we want to be.

love that post of yours.

[hippywife]

21. Thank you, Sonoman!

You are wonderful! :hug:

[Sonoman]

32. I sit here in the sunshine...

in my beautiful little town. Great wine, great company and good health. I can drink wine, play guitar and sing anything I want until the sun comes up if that's what I feel like doing.

I make people happy, all the time.

Then I sit at this damn machine and blip some reply that makes me laugh - but it hurts housewolf, whom I have never met. And she is just the one I know of.

And that has no worth, whatsoever, other than making me think more than twice about being a 58 year old juvenile.

Thank you,
Sonoman

[hippywife]

43. Hey, we've all been there, hon.

The best we can do is think about the things we say before we say them, even here. And then make the decision not to post things that someone might be hurt by. People like to think that this is just a message board, but there are real people with real stories here.

It takes a big man to admit what you have, a big man with a big heart. A 58 year old juvenile would not have apologized, nor realized why it was a good thing to do.

I salute you and am very happy to make your acquaintance.

[Zoeisright]

125. That has to be one of the most honorable statements I have EVER read.

You, sir, are a gentleman.

[Maru Kitteh]

193. +1 with a smile n/t

[housewolf]

24. Thank you, Sonoman

Apology accepted.... gladly!

Frankly, I was a bit stunned by the reaction the news article linking HPV and oral cancer caused here. I hope that more will read the story and learn a bit about the reality of what the article talks about means.

[Sonoman]

36. housewolf...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=332910&mesg_id=333454

[housewolf]

49. Very sweet, Sonoman

Very nice sentiments and much appreciate.

You can quit beating yourself up now or whenever your ready to.... yours was only one of a number of thoughtless comments all piled on and fed by the others. I just would hope that others would do as you have, and give some thought to minimizing and thoughtlessly laughing about a serious subject.

Hugs to you...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[tavalon]

100. I didn't see the original article or the reaction here

but as a nurse and someone who keeps up with STD information, I've known about the connection for about three years and it occurs to me that I should be more active in getting the message out. HPV comes in at least 100 strains and we only know what a few of them do. And it's so common now, we all need to be rethinking our sexual practices.

[seabeyond]

15. thank you housewolf. nt

[cliffordu]

30. Boorish reply based on a missed sentence or two. Sorry.

[Maine-ah]

31. gladly knr

thank you for sharing your story with us. All the best to you :hug:

[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[cynatnite]

38. You are very brave and you have my admiration....

Thank you for educating us.

[NMDemDist2]

39. oh wolfie, no words

:hug:

:hug:

:cry:

[housewolf]

57. Thanks, NMDem

Your so right, there are no words.

It's been for the last 5 years that things have escalated downwards at a rapid pace for me in regards to the after-effects of radiation. Sometimes I fall into self-pitying, especially when it come to not being able to eat anymore - and I do try at time but my poor lungs pay a high price for it. But then something happens like a message I received from another DUer today whose sister wasn't much older than I was, whose storoy fit mine almost to a T, who only survived less than year when she was diagnosed with exactly what I had, just a few years after my diagnosis. When I first went to see this new dr after I moved to Portland he said something to me that no one had ever said before - he told me "you're one of the lucky ones, very few have survived as long as you have after that diagnosis and treatament".

So I'm grateful for every day, 'cause the truth is, I could have had many fewer than I've had. And life has gotten better since I bought the VitaMix a few months ago - it's opened the world of "real food" to me again, even if it's in blended format instead of chewable format! At lest I can cook some things again and enjoy the act of cooking and aromas, if not the taste - and my tummy is much happier with real food in it than canned chemicals all the time!

Coffee, though... I really miss my coffee! It's just not the same, pumping it through a tube straight into my stomach as those long, luxurious sips of hot, sweet strong coffee - like that wonderful Italian roast I got from you before we both left Phoenix!

Hugs back atcha - I've been missing you for a while now!

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

80. ahh sweetie, sorry it's been so rough

glad you're finding some 'work arounds' but dayum!

i cherish the memories of meeting you and still cherish your wit and wisdom in the C&B group

:pals:

[myrna minx]

42. Thank you for sharing your personal story with us.

:grouphug: I think it may inform and enlighten many here.

[undeterred]

44. Thanks for putting a human face on this terrible disease.

Thank goodness cancer treatment has progressed over the years so that people don't have to go through what you did. I read a history of the treatment of breast cancer and learned that women did have radiation sticks attached to their bodies. Going way back into the 19th century they sometimes had an arm amputated along with the removal of lymph nodes. Nowadays it would be unthinkable.

Which brings me to the subject of plastic surgery- its a godsend for cancer patients. Some plastic surgeons specialize in outpatient cosmetic procedures, but there are an awful lot of plastic and reconstructive surgeons who spend their entire careers giving cancer patients some sense of normalcy after an amputation or disfiguring procedure done to eradicate cancer. They are a very special and under-appreciated group of doctors who really blend art and science.

[tavalon]

101. Actually, most people die quickly from the head and neck and cervical cancers caused by HPV

and the treatment is still horrific. We need to change our sexual ways and utilize that vaccine.

[japple]

45. Dear HW, thank you for posting your story. You are coming

through loud and clear!!! :hug:

Love & peace,
japple

[renate]

47. how frustrating... that your life has been so altered by something that happened 35 years ago

I didn't read the thread you're talking about but I can't even imagine how it must have felt to read jokes about something that's affected you so profoundly. Of course, sex has always been a topic that people can get kind of silly and giggly about, and that's sometimes a good thing--but not always.

You've done us a real service--especially those of us who are parents who are pretty comfortable talking to their kids about sex and might have suggested that there are alternatives to intercourse that don't run the risk of pregnancy. I really wouldn't have thought to warn them about this but obviously it's something they absolutely have to keep in mind. Thank you so much.

:hug:

[housewolf]

73. Yes, definitely read up on the link between HPV and oral cancer

and learn everything you can about the HPV vaccine. It's been proven to be quite effective against HPV cancer's of the reproductive tract but I don't know about it's effectiveness against oral cancers, but it's something to consider.

[yellerpup]

48. You are brave and tough to endure what you have had to

endure. Thank you for showing us how insensitivity to another person's suffering demeans us all. I know you as a positive, highly creative person and I truly appreciate your sharing your personal struggle. You may not be able to sing or yell any more but you've managed to communicate your point very well. :hug:

[housewolf]

52. Thanks, Yellerpup

I was so stunned by the general reaction of DUers to the article on the link between HPV & some oral cancers - every one that I read was a snicker or a joke, that I felt I had to say something. There's another side to that story that most people don't know about. I don't comment all that often "out here" in GD, but... well... it was personl this time. We all live with whatever hand life has dealt us, to the best of our abilities, whether we like the hand or not... must say, I haven't always liked this one! But then again, I am grateful for all the years of life I've been granted, especially when I think of how much fewer they could have been.

Your comments touch my heart, and I am indeed grateful that there are so many sensitive, wonderful friends on DU such as you!

Hugs back atcha -
:hug: :hug: :hug:

[yellerpup]

66. You are right to speak out. You have first-hand wisdom

to share and I am not the only one who is glad that you decided to share it. You are important and your experience (while not the hand anyone hopes to draw) is valuable.

I just realized something, housewolf-- you and Jeff Bridges and I are all the same age! And we are all still rockin', aren't we? :pals:

[tavalon]

102. You are amazing

What you did here is just awe inspiring.

[housewolf]

159. Thank you for all your supportive and kind comments, Tavalon

Both here and in the PM you sent me.

I, myself, am amazed at the wondrful comments here - I had no idea I'd be starting something as engaging as this thread has turned out to be. I'm especially happy that the thread isn't all about me, but that there's some good discussion about HPV cancer and vaccines, some of which you've added much wisdom to.

I am proud to get to know you, and hope that I can call you a friend.

:yourock:

[tavalon]

176. Yes, I would be honored to call you a friend.

[Tesha]

50. I alway knew there was something

very, very special about you Housewolf.
You speak with such wisdom and patience, and now I can understand where you found this strength.
Blessings on you and thank you for this post - it might help folks understand that its people we know,
people we love that suffer daily and a little joke or laugh - can stab at the heart of another.

I'm so glad I know you.

[housewolf]

54. Oh Tesha -

Your post touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes!

I guess my little secret about why I don't post that much on C&B is now "out"! I read posts there every day, sometimes multiple times a day, but just don't have much to say when asked "What's for dinner tonight"! Although it's gotten a bit more interesting since I got the VitaMix a few months ago and at least have access to REAL FOOD (in blended format) these days instead of canned chemicals all the time!

Thank you for your post, so full of grace, and for your precious presence. I'm glad I know you too! I've been inspired by many of your posts over the years.


:loveya:

[pacalo]

172. I understand the backing away so well. I did the same thing when I belonged to a small

chatsite of a small group of intelligent, witty women. Of course their children were on their way to becoming remarkable themselves & I just couldn't bear hearing about it at the time because my younger son had just been diagnosed as schizophrenic. I couldn't talk about it so, shamefully, I distanced myself to protect myself from feeling worse. I was in shock then.

I do understand. :hug:

[seabeyond]

175. and all the knowledge you could have shared

if the group was "intelligent and witty". i would have embraced your experience with you son.... eager to hear what you had learned in your experience.

i tend to allow people to be as great as they are.

i have an odd son. i havent tested him for reasons. but i have read up on all kinds of behaviors and disorders. i find him fascinating.... in the good and bad of it.

i am saying... no shame. it is an experience.

anyway, really just a reach out to you

[pacalo]

195. Thanks so much, seabeyond.

Coming from you, I appreciate that so much. At the time, I was too timid to talk about it, & it took years to get out of that frame of mind. I'll be forever shamed that I abandoned really great people.

:hug:

[PCIntern]

51. Hey....

I wrote you a long PM and for whatever reason, you can't receive messages yet...and it erased it!

I'll try to reconstruct part of it here;

I'm going to leave out the opinions and just answer your question:

About 10 years we've been kicking this around to MY knowledge...I have no idea when this first originated, but I can tell you from my experience with GRID and then AIDS, very few people in the beginning pay any attention to the clinicians who first notice this stuff...I have a group of post-CA pts. in my practice and all of your emotions, statements, etc. are valid and true and you're not alone!

Please contact me at any time and I'll try to get back to you!

(This is about 1/4 of what I wrote to you, but much of it was too personal to post on the Board, particularly after the 'job' many folks did on me yesterday for other reasons!)

[housewolf]

74. That's very strange that you PM didn't go through

since I've been on DU since 2004 and I've received a number of PM's today... I've no idea what happened with yours! If you get a chance, maybe you could try sending me a 1 line (or something) PM again to test and see what happens... I don't have anybody blocked so that's not an issue either.

Thanks for you answer. One more question for you - do you know whether the HPV vaccine is/would be effective against the HPV oral cancers? I know it's pretty effective against the reproductive tract cancers, but am curious about the oral. I hate thinking that young women are still going through what I did.

'Course I neglected to mention in my original post that I lost all my teeth almost 15 years ago, too.

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate you support and attention to my question.

[tavalon]

103. Hey

You're another wonderful human being. I've meant to say that for a long time. It seems really important to say it here and now.

[PCIntern]

106. Why, thank you...

that is most appreciated.

:D

[tavalon]

107. Your welcome

BTW, I'm a huge dental phobe (don't worry, I still go to the a really good dentist - I just have to take antianxiety meds to be able to handle the smells and sounds) but I really don't hold that against you. :hug:

It's nice to hear your stories and realize that dentists are people too, not just really scary people for me.

[emilyg]

53. Thank you.

[femrap]

55. Thank you for sharing your

story. I had no idea. That is important information that ALL should be aware of.

Good luck to you...

[thanks_imjustlurking]

58. Thank you for telling your story.

Greatly appreciated. :hug:

[Dappleganger]

61. Thank you for sharing your story.

What an incredible person you are!

[Beacool]

62. A co worker, who was also a friend, died of tongue cancer last March at 44.

She didn't fit the profile either. She took care of herself, ate healthy and didn't smoke. She was a lesbian and in a long time committed relationship. Now I wonder if oral sex contributed to her illness.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that kind of ordeal at such a young age. Maybe your story will help people to realize that they need to take better care of themselves. I hope that you stay cancer free the rest of your life. Take care!!!!

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

72. I'm glad that you reposted.

I was horrified at the reactions to that original article, but saw that many of the callous replies to it were from people here that I have seen to be good, caring people who just apparently weren't thinking in this case. I'm so very sorry that those replies had to have been very hurtful, with all that you have suffered, but I'm glad to see so many good people here showing their decency, compassion and understanding this time around.

[tavalon]

104. I'm actually glad I missed the first one

I'm sure I know all the information it contained and quite a bit more, but if I saw it being taken as a joke, I would have been enraged and I don't have an HPV cancer. Not yet. It's a ticking time bomb. To have someone who has gone through such hell because of this have to see that, well, I'm just mortified.

[mahina]

75. Thank you for your important post.

Wishing you comfort. K & R, of course.

[TuxedoKat]

76. Thank you

for your courage in sharing your story. I will share it with my daughters. God bless you.

[webDude]

77. Hopefully will make people think better. Hang in there!

[likesmountains 52]

78. Whoa, this is the most amazing and personal thing I've ever read .. bless you

and fingers crossed for you housewolf...hugs sent if at all possible.

[Tsiyu]

79. Dear housewolf

Just got back online after a power outage (why so late) and want to apologize here.


I was immature and thoughtless and there really is no excuse.

You are an awesome person and thank you for sharing with us the not-so-funny parts of the story.

I am very, very sorry


:hangheadinshamesmilie:

[pengillian101]

81. Hugs and K&R

See ya at C&B!

[Lucinda]

82. I don't have words either, sweetie. You are very much loved by all of us C&B freaks

and I hate to think of anything causing you pain. I wish I had half your strength. ♥

I have taken to reading just the OP's for links to news stories in GD, and rarely read the comments anymore, because of situations like this. I can post a response to the main OP and move on. That is why I left DU for such a long time too.

Thank you for sharing this with everyone. :hug:

[Name removed]

84. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Liberty Belle]

85. I read the other day about the world's first trachea transplant.

Maybe someday they'll be able to give ou some new parts in your throat.

Thank you for having the courage to speak out and tell your important story.

[Name removed]

86. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[AtheistCrusader]

89. ..I'm going to go with...

too much information.

[Sugarcoated]

87. So sorry about what you had to experience housewolf

Cancer . . . I wish I could beat it with my fists, it's taken several people in my family and a couple of friends recently. I hope I'm not overstepping, but could I ask what your symptoms were, what you were feeling or seeing, if anything before you were diagnosed? I have HPV and this latest finding is worrying me.

Hugs :hug:

[housewolf]

160. Sugarcoated - symptoms

(with a user name like that, you should be a regular at the Cooking & Baking forum!) :) :) :)


I had a very minor throat tickle for some number of months - it would come and go, was not at all severe and didn't seem to be at all serious. It was something that I sort of barely noticed here and there. After a while, I noticed a small lump in my neck. That's when I decided I'd better have it seen about.

If you are concerned, may I suggest that you talk to your doctor about it the next time you go in? And if you don't receive adequate information, try contacting the Head and Neck department of a local hospital, they should be able to refer you to local resources.

I'm so sorry for your loss of loved ones who cancer has stolen from you. After all these years and all the money, it would seem that we should be further along in eradicating it than we are.

Blessing to you, I'll hold you in my thoughts and hope that you remain healthy and cancer-free all of your life.


Hugs back to you

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Sugarcoated]

197. Thank you housewolf. for sharing that . . .

and blessings and good health to you as well.

I may get over to the cooking forum one of there days, love to cook. :)

[tpsbmam]

88. My original post

got deleted -- it was a response to the one negative asshole I saw on this thread.

In essence, it said that I thank you for this amazing post. It's courageous, eloquent & powerful.

I didn't see the original thread to which you've referred. I don't need to now -- what you've written has to be more powerful and memorable than anything I can imagine reading from a cold news perspective.

Thank you. Your resilience and attitude are truly admirable.



:hug:

[Mojeoux]

90. This is another BIG reason to leagalize Sex Workers

These are the most vulnerable people in the world. Diseases like this are where regulation and taxation can make a big impact and save lives.

[tavalon]

105. That's a whole other topic and yes, it's a really important thing

One of my ex wives used to be a sex worker in Las Vegas, though, and she told me about the stringent use of barriers even for oral sex so that's good, at least.

[grahamhgreen]

91. Thank you for sharing, very powerful.

[Kurovski]

92. K&R.

Well-written, straight forward essay.

My own docter had not heard of the link between oral sex and cancer until I brought her an article clipping.

Thank you for taking the time to do this.

[boppers]

94. I didn't know what to say, so I said this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x337258

Chances are that most of the "mockers" and "jokers" are infected, or otherwise touched by it, but don't know it.... yet.

[tavalon]

95. Yes, we have just recently been figuring out that strains of HPV

not all of them, but some that are quite common, are causing more than cervical cancer and anal cancer. Forms of oral and esophageal cancer are now being attributed to it and in each of these cases it was likely from unprotected sex. Vaginal sex, anal sex and oral sex. And more than 70% of sexually active people have one or more strains of HPV.

Therefore, it behooves anyone in any kind of relationship to use barrier protection for all forms of sex (unless procreation is planned and then only leaving the semen where it can facilitate the making of a baby). Being heterosexual and monogamous will only protect you if both you and your partner have only ever, ever had sex with each other. There are a few people in the world that actually can claim that. But far more claim that than is actually true. Sorry.

I used to be a safer sex educator and at that time, we didn't realize that forms of HPV caused cancer, we just thought they caused ugly warts. Now we are learning rather quickly that certain strains of HPV can kill just like HIV.

I use barrier protection with each of my partners and I've recently added oral barriers and gloves, something I didn't use to feel were necessary.

[tavalon]

96. Damn, I only read half of your post before putting my STD instructor information on here

I'm so very sorry this happened to you. There are many more of us who did have unprotected oral sex who will be facing this same thing. I just hope the information and a change in behavior happens for the younger generations. As you and I know now, no, it isn't okay to swallow, it isn't even okay to take your partners penis in your mouth unless it's wrapped.

Luckily, I have three great partners who have no problem with not exchanging fluids. Of course, with what I know now, it wouldn't matter if they did have a problem with it - I won't exchange fluids. Period. End of story. And it's not HIV or HBV that is the primary reason, it's HPV.

Thank you for being willing to share your story. Really, you may save someone's life with this.

[seabeyond]

110. all your posts. and boppers. thank you for all this information.

i really was clueless to the extent of all this. now i am gonna have to do some more learning, and really sit down and talk to the kids...

[housewolf]

161. You are wise, Seabeyond

It takes wisdom to open your mind to new information and recognize it's importance. You shine with the depth of love and protectiveness you show for your children.

Thank you for being here.

[lonestarnot]

109. I am sorry housewolf.

:hug: Thank you for saving someone who may have read. :hug:

[ProfessionalLeftist]

113. Thank you for sharing this....

...people are often too quick to come at someone or something like this with snide remarks and think it's a joke or that it's funny - until they hear the truth, the real story. It's a lesson in taming down those knee-jerk reactions and schoolyard taunts until/unless the truth is known rather than making aSSumptions - often erroneous, and maybe even dangerous ones.

I've had it happen to me. Seen it happen to those I love - whom no one can begin to understand - yet the negative memes, rumors, taunts, and jokes continue. It's cruelty based in ignorance. There's a lot to be said for finding out the truth before judging people -or issues.

We're all guilty of not doing so. Myself included.

I wish you all the best and I'm sorry for what you've been through. I'd not wish it on anyone.

[mmonk]

114. I'm sorry for the suffering and hope living with the remaining effects

is not too negative. Metastasized cancers are very hard to deal with and fight. They require long and painful fights. I've had two family members that did not survive the fight.

[cate94]

115. Thanks you for sharing your story.

Your story will probably help someone, maybe even save someone from the pain that you have been through,

but I am so sorry to hear of everything you have had to endure.

[onlyadream]

116. Thank you so much for your post

I really had NO idea that something like this could happen. I have a 14yo girl and haven't taken her for the vaccine (yet). Truth be told, I actually forgot about it, but now I see that it is very important.

I'm so sorry that you went thru all of that... Horrible. You must be a very strong and courageous woman!

[cleverusername]

117. Rec

Thanks for raising awareness about this issue. I wish you good health and peace.

[CLANG]

118. I'm not giving up my blowjobs! Quit trying to scare me!

[seabeyond]

123. scare you? you mean, you giving blow jobs, right? educate. if that scares you

then yours to deal with. i prefer educate.

[CLANG]

126. I don't give them, I receive them from my wife.

If you really must know... We don't mess around on each other, so bodily fluids don't bother us.

[seabeyond]

127. seemed to be all about you.... as you received, oh so scared. well, really wouldnt

be about you being afraid, now would it. considering the other instances in your situation then i hardly think you need to mouth about the op story. it is educating. informative. and good for us to know and be aware.

but good to see the poster think all about himself, in this situation, when hisself is pretty safe.

[tavalon]

185. And as long as both of you were virgins from the beginning

and that you are both telling the truth that you've never so much as kissed another, you're right. You are perfectly safe from this.

[tavalon]

184. Would you like me to tell you how you can still have your blowjobs and protect your partner

and yourself (many women have HPV in the back of the mouth and they can give it to you, then you can have penile or prostate cancer from your HPV)?

Since, I have to leave for work soon, I'm going to make the assumption that you really do want the information, whether you do or not.

There are three ways and I'm going to leave the one that would probably be the funnest for you, for last. The first is that you use a latex condom on your penis when your partner gives you a blowjob. The second is that you use a polyurethane condom when your partner gives you a blowjob. Both of those have the downside that you lose a lot of friction and men, especially, appreciate friction in their sexual activities. The third one is to get a female condom, get rid of the inner ring, wash off the lube on the outside, put as much lube on the inside as you would like, put it on your penis and let 'er rip. She's safer, you're safer and you're both having a great time. Because a female condom isn't form fitting, you both get more latitude in what you do orally and there's a lot more friction.

[hlthe2b]

121. Very very powerful and impressive post....

I wish I could disseminate this so widely that no one would question the importance of preventing HPV through education and yes, the vaccine.

I am proud to know you through DU. My very best wishes to you and appreciation for your courage in sharing your story. :thumbsup:

[raccoon]

124. Sorry this happened, housewolf. Thanks for posting for those who didn't know

anything about this. I didn't. :hug:

[wryter2000]

128. I'm so sorry

And you're so gracious with your baking advice in C&B when you've been going through this. I hope we have you with us for a good, long time. Take care. We love you.

:grouphug:

[derby378]

129. Again, my family's story

Someone in my family caught HPV from her now-ex-boyfriend, but they caught it early and cured it before it had the chance to do any real damage. She has since gone on to get marrried and have two healthy sons.

My grandfather suffered from lung cancer in his final years. They took out one of his lungs, but his addiction to nicotine was so strong that even this couldn't persuade him to kick the habit.

My wife was a 25-year survivor of stage IV ovarian cancer. It was forced into remission, but the ordeal left a lasting impression on her body with diminished heart muscle, painful adhesions, and the loss of a lot of internal organs.

I don't joke about cancer. I realize I may have to face it someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day I might. But even though my wife has now passed away, I hope to look upn her as an example of how to endure through the pain.

housewolf, my heart goes out to you and wishes you a measure of well-deserved comfort and peace. :hug:

[seabeyond]

130. .

just cause i read your post before, i read your post now, and it makes me think

[derby378]

131. It's forced me to think about stuff I take for granted

I don't smoke, I don't drink that much, the usual stuff. But I'm morbidly obese, and that's a risk factor in itself. Too much stress eating after Ginny's death, I suppose.

Also, I grew up in an age where I guess everyone assumed that our food supply was always going to be safe, that our government couldn't possibly allow anything nasty to show up on our dinner table. A quick re-education on this matter has me seeking out more organic foods, milk that is devoid of rBST, and meat that hasn't been treated with ammonia (thanks a lot, Cargill). It's by no means a perfect diet, but I am trying.

[madokie]

132. Out of respect for the girls

I've never been a fan of the blow job. I mean whats in it for them?
So happy that you've gotten the proverbial second chance at life. :Hug:

[Tsiyu]

133. while there is no excuse for insensitivity

In the original thread, most were making "oral sex" references, not making fun of people with cancer.

While they may have ignored the seriousness of the study I honestly don't believe any poster meant to specifically hurt anyone.

It just pays to remember that there will always be someone who can relate to a topic in a personal way here, and we should all be more careful how we respond to information here.

Your post makes that more clear.

[Coyote_Bandit]

136. .

:hug:

[Shining Jack]

139. I don't see what could be funny about this.

Really happy that you made it. :pals:

[DemocratSinceBirth]

140. A Great Argument For Male Circumcision Since Their Partners Are Less Likely To Get HPV

Oh, before someone brings up condoms, they should try to get a young male to wear one to get oral sex...

[Chan790]

151. I suspect...

that if the only other option were not receiving oral sex, most young men would do far more unpleasant things than wrap their knob. Lord knows I would.

(I disagree on circ but that's an argument had far too often on DU and not in need of a rehash.)

[DemocratSinceBirth]

154. I Don't Think Most Males Or Females Like The Taste Of Latex

And, yes, the partners of circumcised men are much less likely to get the HPV virus. It would be interesting to see the status, circumcised or uncircumcised, of the partners of the unfortunate woman in this article.

[Chan790]

156. No, I mean I support an infant circ. ban.

Latex tastes awful, I will give you that much but that's what flavored lube/condoms/dams are for. Babeland sells them online and many sexual-health clinics give them away for free.

[housewolf]

209. "the partners of the unfortunate woman in this article"

If you were referring to me, here's your answer - somehow, all of my male partners have been circumcized.

[krabigirl]

166. .... Are the rates of oral hpv much higher in Europe?

[tavalon]

188. Female Condom

Take out the inner ring, wash the lube off the outside of it, put any kind of lube you want on the inside, place on penis, have huge amounts of fun. Because the Female Condom is not form fitting to the male penis, the man gets friction and the woman gets to do more with her tongue and if I go any more graphic, this is going to get deleted.

I am a huge fan of the Female Condom. I buy them by the truckload. I wish everyone loved them like I loved them. Without them, I would have given up penetrative sex all together. As is, I'm not impacted one bit. But then, I've been using them now for almost 15 years. I can put that FC or those FCs where I want them, when I want them and nary a beat is missed.

Unfortunately, about the circumcision thing, you are absolutely correct. I spent my whole adult life calling circumcision forced mutilation for baby boys and now we actually have a concrete, reasonable reason to do it. It still makes me sad, but HPV cancer infuriates me. And infuriate trumps sad everytime.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

199. +!

"Unfortunately, about the circumcision thing, you are absolutely correct. I spent my whole adult life calling circumcision forced mutilation for baby boys and now we actually have a concrete, reasonable reason to do it. It still makes me sad, but HPV cancer infuriates me. And infuriate trumps sad everytime. "

A small piece of skin versus a woman's life. I will choose circumcision every time...

[tavalon]

200. I've spent my adult life seeing that as infant mutilation

And in the last few years my point of view has changed. I can no longer call it a pointless cosmetic procedure.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

203. +2

Yes, it is more than an experiment in aesthetics. Opponents of the procedure rely on changes in behavior that is beyond what can be expected. Despite our hopes and wishes, condom compliance is nowhere near one hundred percent; even among the most at risk groups.

[blackspade]

153. Wow!

You are one tough lady!
Thanks for your story. I'll add it to my list of topics to cover in a few years when my son and daughter reach 'that' age.

Take care!

[zanana1]

157. Thank you for having the courage to post this.

The worst we can be is ignorant. I will never, ever, laugh at one of "those" jokes again. Again--thank you.

[Stinky The Clown]

162. You're one very special woman. You're very brave.

Thank you.

:hug:

[pacalo]

167. Oh, housewolf...

:hug:

[girl_interrupted]

170. TY housewolf! Approx 20 million Americans have HPV & don't know it

Some never experience symptoms and just pass it along. I never knew much about it until two of my friends found out they were infected with it. They have been having a very difficult time with it, physically and emotionally. The physical symptoms are the cause of alot discomfort and worry about what else it can bring in the future, like cervical cancer. And whether or not they will be able to have children. Emotionally, they have been through the wringer, with guilt and shame, something no one should ever feel but do. Doesn't matter if you have had one partner or many, you are still at risk. Thankfully they have both joined support groups, which has helped them to realize they aren't alone and there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Initially, when you hear about HPV, you think it only effects women and its only about contracting cervical cancer. But nothing can be further from the truth. It can cause all kinds of cancer and it can effect both men and women. Also, some people may be carriers and never suffer any ill effects, but will pass it on to their partner. Some people will get infected and it will be short lived and pass out of the body naturally. Others will not be so lucky and it will have devastating effects on their health.

It is so much more prevalent in the general population, then most people know. We need people like you housewolf, to educate us, to not be afraid to talk about it, to share their experiences and to let people know what they can do to protect themselves. And how to cope, like you do, with so much determination and grit, if the disease should progress. You are an incredible person, what a fighter!

While many young girls and women are getting vaccinated, doctors are seeing that the vaccine is also very effective for boys and young men. The emphasis is usually on females when you hear about HPV, but it is now known to effect men as well and doctors will be urging that males also get vaccinated. There is an excellent article on CNN now, that covers that topic and talks about HPV as well, I hope a lot of people on DU read it. "HPV vaccine effective in men" http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/02/02/hpv.vaccine.men.health/index.html?hpt=T2

housewolf, you are quite correct, there is nothing funny about cancer. Having lost family members to this disease, it is nothing but hideous and heartbreaking. I think when the subject has anything to do with sex, people immediately joke about it, but it is no laughing matter. But I must say, your honesty in telling your story, shows so much courage, so much tenacity, and such a desire to educate so many about a subject that needs to be discussed, you should be applauded. Thank you so much for that! You may have helped more people than you know. Continued wishes to you, for a happy life. The world could use more people like you!

[housewolf]

208. Thank you SO much for that info about vaccinating boys and men for HPV!

That's something I've been wondering about but hadn't come across that most helpful information. That's information that needs to be widely spread, as the general public remains uneducated about the realities of HPV.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! Your knowledge and experiences about HPV are awesome. I so appreciate your sharing them here.

I am SO sorry that HPV and cancer have affected your friends and family in the way that they have. Please accept my heart-felt sympathies for the pain and losses you have endured.

[moreland01]

171. For Housewolf . . .

"Her speaking volume is so low that many people can't hear her"

Housewolf, your voice sounds mighty loud to me. Thanks for getting your message out there. We needed to hear it.

[HuckleB]

174. Thank you for sharing your story.

Your ongoing courage is absolutely inspiring.

[bigwillq]

181. Thank you for sharing your story.

:hug: