Edited on Wed Jan-02-08 05:09 PM by Cyrano
1. Dick Cheney will win first place in the international baby-eating contest.
2. Toilet paper sales will fall now that William Krystal is a NY Times columnist.
3. Walmart will hand out free 2007 calendars with every purchase.
4. Minneapolis airport will introduce new “wide stance” restrooms.
5. Yale will erect a sculpture of an asshole to honor George W. Bush.
6. Texas will erect a giant sculpture of Molly Ivins to honor Molly.
7. In desperation, the Republican convention will end up nominating Paris Hilton.
8. Nancy Pelosi will recapture the feminist vote by having an affair with George Clooney.
9. Israel will purchase Bob Jones University and ban pork chops.
10. New Orleans will establish a law against being poor.
11. In October, Bill O’Reilly will introduce his “Have a Merry Christmas” loofah.
12. In June, Antonin Scalia will declare the winner of the November election.
|